


ABC, It's Easy

by dazedandamused



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-04-23 05:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 33,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4864109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazedandamused/pseuds/dazedandamused
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots from throughout the course of their relationship, all inspired by a letter of the alphabet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anniversary

A/N: and we are starting with A! Please let me know your thoughts about this chapter. I have a few written out in advance but if there is something specific you'd like to see, I might be able to incorporate.

\--------------------

"Babe? Babe, do you know where I put my face lotion?" Ashlyn's voice rings out from the bathroom, and her girlfriend rolls her eyes. If Ashlyn could see her, the annoyance and frustration on Ali's face would be apparent. 

"Gym bag," she calls back in a clipped tone that apparently goes over Ashlyn's head, as all she receives in response is a thumbs up poking out of the open bathroom door.

A few minutes later, Ashlyn pads over to the bed, and as soon as she slips in, Ali rolls over, back to her girlfriend.

"What, no sugar?" Ashlyn jokes with a laugh, and Ali rolls back over immediately.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Ashlyn?" Ali accuses, and Ashlyn's eyebrows shoot up straight to her hairline.

"Whoa - Al -" she begins. "What's wrong?" Granted, Ali had been slightly subdued all day, and yes, she had been a little snappy when Ashlyn had gone off skateboarding this afternoon, and quiet at dinner, but Ashlyn had just chalked it up to jetlag from the trip back from Germany. Ali would be the first to admit she could turn into a bitch when exhausted, and usually all Ashlyn had to do was wait it out. But the look of anger in Ali's eyes was far beyond jetlag bitchiness.

"What's wrong? Oh my god, Ash, what's wrong? It's our anniversary for godsakes and you didn't even remember!" Ali is sitting straight up now, and Ashlyn follows suit.

"Alex," she tries, but Ali's not done.

"No," Ali rants. "I cannot believe you forgot our anniversary! It's been a year, Ash, a whole fucking year. And I was so excited to spend today celebrating with you, but nothing! You weren't even here for most of the afternoon! And I'm so mad at you for forgetting, but I'm also just sad," she begins to slow a bit, "this is a big deal, Ash. For both of us. This is the longest relationship I've ever been in, and you too, and I felt like we were so stable and I know that I'm overreacting and I'm annoyed with myself for that, but it's just - it's a year. It's a big deal, Ashlyn." She ends quietly and the anger in her eyes is mostly replaced by something close to defeat.

Ashlyn's always been romantic; she's always made Ali feel special and loved, and to say Ali had been looking forward to what Ashlyn had up her sleeve for their anniversary would be an understatement. She herself had bought Ashlyn surprise tickets home to Florida for next month, and she was sure her girlfriend would have something great for her as well. Well, she was sure until about 3pm, when Ashlyn had all but ran out of the house to the skatepark. And then she had just felt foolish.

It's quiet for a moment with the weight of Ali's admission, and then Ali feels Ashlyn's hand brush a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Alex. Look at me. Please," Ashlyn asks softly and Ali takes a deep breath, furiously blinks away the tears that have gathered (she knows, she knows that she's kind of being the princess Ashlyn always teases her for being, but she can't help it. The one year mark feels like a big milestone, like they're real adults succeeding and thriving in a real adult relationship, and she's proud of that and she just wants to celebrate it, damnit!) She looks up and meets Ashlyn's eyes, and immediately frowns.

"Why are you laughing at me?" She mumbles crossly, and Ashlyn lets out a chuckle.

"Alex, first of all, I love you. I'm sorry you've been feeling sad all day. But babe, it's not our anniversary." Ashlyn raises her eyebrows while Ali furrows hers.

"What do you mean? It's June 3," Ali says, and Ashlyn nods in agreement.

"Sure is June 3, buttercup, but June 3 is definitely not our anniversary," Ashlyn says with a chuckle while her girlfriend narrows her eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about, Ash? It is totally the right date. June 3rd. June 3rd, Ashlyn! That camp started on the first, we had two days of practice and then a rest day; our anniversary. Don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember, Al. We had two days of practice, and then - oh my god. Oh my god! Alexandra Krieger!" Ashlyn's mouth drops open and she begins to laugh in earnest. 

"What? Stop laughing at me!" Ali whines, swatting half heartedly at her girlfriend. "You're still in trouble, you know."

"Oh, I'm in trouble? Alex, I cannot believe you," Ashlyn laughs. "You think today's our anniversary because it's the first time we had sex!"

Ali blushes slightly. "Well, yeah. And I mean other things happened that night! We talked about our feelings," she adds defensively. "You don't think that's our anniversary?" 

"Nope," Ashlyn says with a grin, and Ali narrows her eyes even further.

"But that's when we - I mean that was the first time. Our first time. What other day could you even think was our anniversary? That's when we got together, right? 

"Sure, sexually, you maniac. I mean, I was personally basing the date of our anniversary -- June 5th" she says pointedly "on our first official date, you know, as normal people do."

"Hey, I'm normal," Ali replies with a frown. She's quiet for a minute, looking deep in thought, and Ashlyn can't help but notice just how cute of a look that is for her girlfriend. "June 5th. Our first date, at that street fair."

Ashlyn hadn't told her where they were headed, just to dress casually. She'd led them to a busy, bustling street with food carts and stalls selling all sorts of treasures. They'd even gotten their faces painted, a butterfly for Ali and a spider for Ashlyn. They'd gotten shaved ice for dessert, and had headed for a walk along the beach. It had been perfect.

She can't help but smile as she remembers the day, but then gives an frown and an exaggerated sigh. "So you're telling me our anniversary is in two days? And that I just bitched you out for no reason?" She asks, blushing a bit.

"Yes and yes. I officially asked you to be my girlfriend that day. That's generally how anniversaries go, Al. The rest of the world isn't as obsessed with sex as you are." That got her an expected jab to the ribs.

"Oh, you're complaining about that?" Ali mutters, and Ashlyn lets out a loud laugh.

"Never, babe," she says, kissing the top of Ali's head. "Now. Are you still mad at me for forgetting our not-anniversary?"

"Well I guess not," Ali mumbles, having buried her head into the crook of Ashlyn's neck. She looks up with a rueful smile. "I suppose I can get on board with the June 5th thing. June 3rd was an...eventful day, but you're right, the 5th made everything official. I'm sorry, Ash. I know I was being a little crazy." Ali plants a kiss on Ashlyn's cheek, and Ashlyn wraps her arms around Ali.

"No, I would've been upset in your shoes too. I mean, you were totally wrong about the date" she grins, "but you're right that it is a big deal. I'm proud of us, Alex, and the year we've had together. I love you. And I can't wait to celebrate. In two days. On June 5th. Our anniversary," she teases, and Ali rolls her eyes with a smile.

"Yeah, got it," she sasses back. "Wait - does this mean you got me an awesome present?"

"Al. I'm insulted you even had to ask. But do you really think I'm gonna spill the beans?" Ashlyn asks, amused, and Ali sticks out her bottom lip.

"So now I have to wait two more days?! No fair," she pouts, and it's Ashlyn's turn to roll her eyes.

"I'm sure you'll manage, Princess. But just to make it even harder -- I totally lied about being at the skatepark. I was getting everything ready for our actual anniversary," she adds slyly, and Ali's mouth drops open.

"You are such a tease!" She exclaims as she punches her girlfriend's shoulder. Ashlyn silences her with a soft kiss, and Ali begrudgingly melts back into her embrace.

It's quiet for a moment as they lay there together, Ashlyn's arms securely around Ali.

"You know," Ashlyn breaks the silence. "I mean, technically, it is an anniversary of sorts today. Be a shame not to celebrate." 

Ali looks up to see a sly grin on her girlfriend's face. "Oh and how do you suggest we do that?" She asks innocently.

"I think it's only fitting we, uh, recreate the original June 3rd, don't you?"

"Only if we don't have to include all the tequila shots we took that night," Ali says pointedly, and Ashlyn blushes.

"Hey, I was nervous! And so were you, apparently. But yes, amendment approved," Ashlyn agrees, and she leans over to soundly kiss Ali.

Their anniversary might not be for another two days, but there's plenty of celebrating that night.


	2. Babysitting

"Okay, that was horrifying," Ashlyn's nose is crinkled in disgust as she throws the dirty diaper into the garbage. "Remind me again why we agreed to babysit?" She turns around just in time to see her girlfriend roll her eyes.

"Ash, it was a poopy diaper, not a bomb," Ali laughs.

"Easy for you to say, you weren't the one changing it," Ashlyn mutters, and Ali rolls her eyes good naturedly once again. "Good thing you're so cute, huh buddy?" She coos to the baby in Ali's arms, who giggles and reaches for her nose.

"Hey, watch the moneymaker there, Ry," she teases, plucking the baby from Ali. "Your Auntie Ali would never forgive you if you ruined this beautiful face."

"Better yours than mine," Ali mumbles with a grin as she turns to grab the diaper bag. "Okay, A-Rod packed a towel for him, and he's already in his suit, so should we head down to the pool?" She smiles widely as Ryan claps his hands.

"You wanna go swimming, buddy?" Ashlyn asks, and the one year old claps again. "I'm gonna say that's a yes. Lead us there, woman!" She swats her girlfriend on the ass as they exit the hotel room.

"Oh yeah, good, teach him that, Ash," Ali says sarcastically, yelping when Ashlyn does it again. "Ashlyn Harris! You stop that!"

"Sorry babe, can't help it. I mean, have you seen your a - bottom? Damn, I keep forgetting I can't cuss in front of him. Oh, sh - shoot!"

Ali turns around, raising her eyebrows. "Good lord, Ashlyn. Give me him so I can get him all sun screened up, and you just...just stop talking and get yourself ready."

An hour later, Ashlyn and Ryan are splashing around in the pool, while Ali sits watching them from her perch in a lounge chair. A few teammates had wandered by, Hope rolling her eyes but laughing good-naturedly when Ashlyn told Ryan to splash her, Alex and Tobin blowing kisses to the duo as they went for coffee. All three (and HAO via text - she'd been spying from her balcony, apparently) had mentioned just how excellent Ashlyn's childcare skills were, a fact that Ali couldn't deny.

"Hey Al, look at this!" Ashlyn bends down in the water to blow some bubbles. "your turn, dude," she says to the boy, who clumsily attempts to make some of his own bubbles in the water. "Yeah, that's it! Wow, high-five," Ashlyn cheers, and Ali claps.

"Good bubbles, Ry!" She grins, and she's so caught up in watching the pair in the water she doesn't realize anyone has occupied the chair next to her until she hears a voice.

"You're totally thinking about your own future little Harris-Krieger babies, aren't you?" Kelley teases, and Ali turns to face her with a guilty smile.

"I mean, maybe. But can you blame me? Look how cute," she gestures to the pool in front of her, where Ashlyn is tossing Ryan up into the air as he shrieks with glee.

"It is like sickeningly adorable," Kelley agrees. "She's great with kids."

"So I hear," she laughs. "But yeah, she really is. I'm slightly worried our future children will love her more than me," Ali laughs. She's kidding, mostly, she's gotten enough love from her cousins and the Rampone girls to know that kids seem to like her too, but she does know that Ashlyn's gonna be stiff competition. Kids always seem to gravitate to her, and she to them. In all honesty, it was one of the things that first attracted her to Ashlyn -- how sweet she was with Rylie and tiny baby Reece all those years ago.

"Nah, you guys are both gonna be awesome. Those are gonna be some lucky kids, Ali." Kelley says sincerely as they both watch Ashlyn point over at them and wave, Ryan mimicking.

Ali waves back with a big grin on her face, then turns to face her friend.

"Thanks, Kel. They'll obviously be lucky to have an Auntie like you," she says, batting her eyelashes.

"Aw shucks, Kriegs," Kelley rolls her eyes. "Get outta here with that sap. Save it for that one," she says, gesturing to Ashlyn, who has slipped out of the pool, carrying a shivering Ryan.

"I think this little goober is done for the day," she announces.

"What about Ryan?" Kelley asks innocently, and Ashlyn shoots her a glare.

"You're hilarious, Kel. Big comedian."

"That's what Hope tells me," Kelley retorts, sticking out her tongue.

"Yeah well, that's because you're -" Ali stands up and shoots her girlfriend a warning glance, which shuts Ashlyn up. Kelley makes a whipping noise, Ashlyn flips her the bird, and Ali rolls her eyes.

"C'mere, baby. You cold? Let's get you warmed up," Ali says as she scoops Ryan into a big towel. "Ash, can you get his food out of the bag?"

Lunch sounds like a good idea to all of them, so Kelley goes off to procure some burgers from the hotel restaurant, and Ali is helping Ryan with his cheese stick and grapes as Ashlyn towels off.

"You're pretty cute out there with him," Ali comments, causing Ashlyn to blush slightly. 

"Thanks babe. Just getting some good practice in, ya know," she winks, and this time it's Ali's turn to blush. "Another year or so of practice and then I think we'll be golden," Ashlyn remarks, and Ali grins as she opens Ryan's applesauce pouch.

"I think that sounds about right," she agrees. "But right now I'm pretty happy being Ryan's favorite babysitters. Right buddy?"

Ryan looks up at her and smiles, then yawns and rests his head down on Ali's chest. She softly runs her fingers through his hair and rubs his back, shushing Kelley when she comes back with their burgers, which she eats one handed. Eventually, she works to gently remove the pouch from Ryan's little hand when he's drifted off from his busy morning.

Ashlyn watches Ali the whole time, sees just how natural she looks, and can't help the cheesy grin that overtakes her face. Ali can sense her staring, and turns to meet her eyes. 

"What?" She mouths, and Ashlyn just shakes her head.

"You're cute," she whispers. "You're gonna be a great mom. Our kids are gonna be lucky as hell." Ali's smile grows tenfold, nose crinkling.

"You are too," she replies, reaching over to squeeze Ashlyn's hand.

"Well duh," Ashlyn scoffs before breaking into a dimpled grin as Ali rolls her eyes fondly. "I know it's gonna be crazy," she adds, nodding down at the sleeping baby. "But it's gonna be awesome, too. I can't wait."

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Thanks for reading! If you have any thoughts or comments or suggestions, I'd love to hear them!


	3. Christmas

The phone rings twice, three times, before she hears a catch, some rustling, and a throaty,

"Hey babe," from her favorite voice. Ashlyn smiles into her phone; she'd woken Ali up. She herself still carried some of that leftover childhood excitement, and no matter how old she got, she always woke up early on Christmas. She'd been up for an hour, taken the dogs for a short walk on the beach, made a pot of coffee, and finally determined that it was an okay time to call her girlfriend to wish her a Merry Christmas before the festivities started.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. Wanna talk later?" She asks softly.

"S'okay," she hears Ali stifle a yawn. "I should get up soon anyway to help my mom, but I wanna talk to you first. Merry Christmas, babe."

"Merry Christmas, Al. You think Santa ate all your cookies?" They'd Skyped yesterday when Ali had been finishing the last of her holiday baking, and Ali had proudly showed off the finished products, waving them in front of the computer screen like a QVC host.

"He better," Ali laughs. "How long you been up?" Ashlyn grins; Ali knows her well. Usually, Ali's the one up with the sun, and Ashlyn's sleeping in as late as she can.

"Just an hour. Took the dogs out on the beach for a while, saw the sunrise."

"Sounds beautiful," Ali says garbled, around a mouthful of toothbrush, Ashlyn would guess. Ali's a mover when she's on the phone, making laps around their apartment, washing dishes, watering the plants. 

"Not as beautiful as you, Princess," Ashlyn says with mock sincerity, and she hears a snort, and the reply doesn't come for a minute.

"My toothpaste just went up my nose," (Ashlyn feels self satisfied that she knows her girlfriend's habits so well) "You cheese ball. Now tell me about celebrating at your dad's last night."

They talk for about fifteen minutes. Ashlyn tells Ali about her dad's house, her little cousins, and the surf equipment she got (Ashlyn's genuinely pumped about it and she is definitely going into too much detail, but she loves Ali for how valiantly Ali's trying to appear interested.) Ali then describes the intense games of Hearts around the table after dinner last night, and Kyle's insistence that Ali had been cheating.

"It's not my fault I'm just better at Hearts than he is," Ali finishes, and Ashlyn chuckles.

"Or just more competitive," she retorts, and Ali laughs.

"Maybe that too. Hey Ash, I think I gotta go help mom. I hear some banging in the kitchen and you know when Kyle wakes up we're gonna have to go straight to presents," Ashlyn can practically hear the affectionate eye roll over the phone. 

"Yeah, I should go pick up my Grandma soon anyway. Listen, have a great Christmas, okay? I love you, Al." She puckers her lips and makes a kissing sound into the receiver.

"I love you too," Ali responds. "I wish we could be together today but I'll see you on the 27th still, right?" Her hopeful tone makes Ashlyn smile.

"Wouldn't miss it. Give your family my love. Bye, babe." Ali sends a goodbye to her as well, and Ashlyn quickly hangs up. Her phone background is a picture of her and Ali in the Santa hats they'd found at the dollar store a week ago, and she smirks before typing out a quick text. The response comes quickly and she hops out of her chair, whistling Winter Wonderland. It was shaping up to be a merry Christmas indeed.

 

Ali had just finished opening the last present -- a chunky knit scarf from her stepsister -- when she sees Kyle glance down at his phone and practically sprint out of the room,

"What's up with that weirdo?" She asks her mom, who is gathering up all the wrapping paper remnants, as her stepdad and stepsister go off in search of leftovers.

"Not sure. Maybe that boy he thinks I don't know about texted him or something," Debbie says with a sly smile, making her daughter drop her mouth open.

"You are too much, mom," she giggles, then sighs as she looks at her own phone.

"Well, at least he's getting texts back. I've been texting Ash all afternoon and she hasn't replied," Ali pouts.

"It's Christmas, Alex. I'm sure she's just busy with her family."

"I know, I know. But she just always texts me back. I don't like when she doesn't," Ali whines, playing it up slightly for her mom, who rolls her eyes.

"Basically, you're saying that you're totally spoiled because Ashlyn always puts you above everything else, even when it comes to replying to your texts at the expense of family time, and the one time out of a billion she doesn't, you're gonna complain about it," Debbie says, not meanly, just teasingly, as she tosses a wadded up ball of tissue paper at her daughter. 

"Well...yeah," Ali responds with a dramatic sigh. It's true. Ashlyn always texts her back. Always leaves her little notes on the mirror, in a cereal bowl. Always calls when she'll be late. She's always there when Ali wants or needs her, sometimes even before Ali herself realizes she wants or needs something.

"I just miss her, mom. I know it's only a week, but it doesn't feel right not to be together at Christmas." It's not their first Christmas as a couple, not even close, but usually they're each rushing home to their respective families for a few days from separate cities, already doing long distance. But they're back in the states now, they've made a home in DC, and it just feels wrong to be apart.

"I know, Alex. And I'm sure Ash feels the same way. Next year you'll just have to plan ahead." Her mother plops down beside her.

"Ugh, that makes us sound so old and boring. Planning Christmases. When we have kids though, you guys all have to come up. I'm not schlepping car seats and babies and presents all the way down here," she rambles. "That sounds like a nightmare."

"It does," agrees a voice from the other side of the room. Ali whips around so fast she nearly falls off the couch. "Easy, there, Al." Ashlyn laughs, as she makes her way over to offer a hand to her girlfriend.

"What are you doing here?" Ali falls into Ashlyn tightly, breathing in the smell of Ashlyn's perfume mixed with the slight tang of saltwater (she'd bet anything Ashlyn and her brother had gone out for a quick surf at some point during the day.)

"I'm here for Christmas, duh," Ashlyn says, lowering them onto the couch, Ali still curled up in her side. "Didn't feel right not to be with you."

"But what about your family?" She's so, so thrilled to have Ashlyn here, but Ali can't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Neither of them get to see their families as often as they'd like, and she knows how close Ashlyn is with her brother and grandma especially.

"You are my family, Alex," Ashlyn says simply, and Ali can't help the combination blush and grin that overtakes her entire face. "Plus, grandma is going on a cruise with her Bunco friends early tomorrow," Ashlyn pulls a face. "I don't even wanna know what kind of trouble those old broads will get into. So don't feel guilty, okay? This is where I wanna be. With you."

Ali pulls away from her girlfriend's embrace for a moment, before reaching up and cupping Ashlyn's face and bringing her in for a sweet kiss.

"I love you. Merry Christmas." She feels Ashlyn smile against her lips. "Now. Where are my presents?!"

Ashlyn groans. "I'm not enough? Good god, woman, I drove all the way here, abandoned my family, and you still want more?" Ashlyn teases.

"Hey! First of all, it's like three hours, tops. Don't make it seem like you drove cross country for me. Secondly -"

Debbie hovers in the doorway for a moment, knowing she's spying but finding it hard to tear herself away. Finally she decides enough is enough, she'll give them their privacy, and the sounds of their playful banter follow her all the way to the kitchen.

 

\-------

Thanks for reading! Any comments/feedback/thoughts appreciated!


	4. Defeat

They lose. Of course they lose. Of fucking course they do, Ashlyn thinks. That's all they've been doing, all season long. It's running her ragged, Ali too (quite literally in Ali's case), and while she's kind of resigned herself to the fact that a loss is inevitable, it still sucks. And she's trying, she's trying so hard to stay positive and be encouraging and lift the younger players up, show them a winning mentality, but when she basically stands on her head all night trying to block shot after shot that somehow slide effortlessly through to her, it's too hard. 

And so she sits, quietly, on the bench in the locker room, head down, hands folded, waiting for Ali to finish getting dressed. She feels a pat on her back and looks up slightly.

"Hey, good game," Diana says, and in her eyes Ashlyn can see frustration that mimics her own. Ashlyn gives her a small smile, tries to communicate how grateful she is that Diana's out there trying, not giving up, running up and down the field to try and buy Ashlyn some time, and reaches around to give Diana a pat on the ass.

"You know the rules, not in front of Ali," Diana stage whispers in a deadpan as she spots Ali coming up behind Ashlyn. 

"What's that now?" Ali responds with sass, and Diana just gives them both a small grin and a wave as she walks by.

Ashlyn stands up, looks around for a minute to see that the locker room has mostly cleared out -- they're trying to set a precedent of professionalism, after all -- and pulls Ali into her chest, breathes in the calming scent of Ali's damp hair.

"Home?" Ali mumbles against Ashlyn's collarbone, and Ashlyn nods wordlessly, spinning and grabbing Ali's hand to lead them to the car.

The ride home is silent, Ali making an inane comment here or there, but knowing that Ashlyn's still processing, still trying to work through the game in her head. She keeps her hand on Ashlyn's right arm as she drives, absent-mindedly drawing small circles with her thumb, as she remarks about the nice temperature, making a note out loud to wash their sheets tomorrow.

Ashlyn appreciates the hell out of it. She loves Ali so much for exactly this, in this moment. Ali isn't pushing her to talk, or asking her what's wrong. She's waiting patiently, giving Ashlyn time and space but keeping an orbit around her, letting her know she's there.

And Ali's expecting it, when after a fairly quiet getting-ready-for-bed routine, Ashlyn rolls over in bed, buries her head in the crook of her neck, and sighs heavily. Ali's been expecting this for a while; knows how much Ashlyn feels these losses.

"I'm so tired of losing, Al," she whispers. Ali feels her heart drop a little from the sincerity of the statement, but stays quiet, knowing Ashlyn has more to say. She idly moves her hand through the blonde hair laying on her chest, hoping to at least provide a small comfort.

"I just...I don't know. I know it's not all on me, but it feels like it is, you know? And I'm back here playing so that Tom'll see me and keep calling me up, but why would he want a keeper who keeps letting in goals, can't organize her defense?" She feels Ali tense and knows without a doubt that her girlfriend is about to interject. "I know, Al. I know I'm doing all I can and that I can't blame every loss on myself. Doesn't make it any easier." She says wearily, swallowing hard to keep the tears at bay.

Because she does know, rationally, that it's not on her. She knows that she's making good saves, and plenty of them. She knows that the losses could be a lot more lopsided. But she's fighting for a spot, constantly fighting against the tide, and the season so far feels like a wave just rolling her back toward shore. 

Ali gives her a moment, she always does. She lets Ashlyn bite back the tears, take a few deep breaths, as her fingers keep stroking gently through Ashlyn's hair. She places a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Hey. Will you look at me?" She asks quietly, and Ashlyn sits up carefully, turning to face her.

"First of all, I love you." Ali begins with a small smile. "So, so much. And I hate that you're feeling this way. But I get it." Surprise flickers in Ashlyn's eyes, and she waits for Ali to continue. "You wanna be the best. You strive every day to be the best keeper, best teammate, best you, you can be. And I love that about you. But you wanna be the best for everyone, and you put too much of the burden on yourself. And I don't like to see you struggle under that weight, Ash." Her voice is gentle but firm, and her eyes unwavering.

"You are excellent. I know you feel like every goal is a mark against you in Tom's book. I know you feel that way, and I get it, Ash, because you've fought so hard and it's never come as easily as it should. But baby, you have to believe me," Ali's voice cracks slightly as she grabs Ashlyn's hands, "every save you make, every time you leap into the air at just the right time, every time you rally us together again, every time you prove how hard you're working at practice and in fitness, Tom sees that too. And those are marks for you, Ashlyn. And there are so, so many more in that column than the other, I swear to you. And if you can't believe it when you say it to yourself, believe it when I say it. You've always believed in me, Ashlyn. So believe in me when I say this," Ali sniffles a little, and she catches Ashlyn's chin with her finger to bring their eyes to meet once more,

"You are amazing, you are unstoppable, and you ARE gonna get those call-ups. You're playing your heart out every week, and I could not be more proud to have you in goal behind me. Okay?" Her eyes are pleading, filled with love, and - she's telling the truth - pride. Ashlyn feels that damn lump in her throat again, looking into those eyes.

"Okay," she whispers, taking a long inhale through her nose and closing her eyes for a second, "Okay," she says, a bit stronger this time, and when her eyes open, she's met with the radiant smile she's so fond of. She can't help but smile back.

"There she is," Ali murmurs, leaning forward to lay a kiss on Ashlyn's forehead. "Love you."

Ashlyn chuckles. "Yeah, so I hear," she can't help but tease, but then she lays down, pulls Ali down with her. "You are...there aren't words, Alex. Thank you. Thank you for dealing with me, for believing in me. For loving me." She says seriously as she wraps her arms around the other woman. 

"You make it pretty easy," Ali replies, kissing Ashlyn's collarbone. "Now, tell me the truth." Ashlyn raises an eyebrow. "Are you still bummed out about the loss?" She feels Ashlyn snort, then nod. 

"Yep."

"Yeah, me too. Pretty sure there's only one thing that'll make us feel better...." Ashlyn hears the grin in Ali's tone, and when she catches the meaning, she immediately smiles as well.

"Puppy videos?!" She asks eagerly, and Ali laughs. 

"You know it, babe." And as Ali begins to type into the search bar, Ashlyn feels the heaviness in her chest and weight in her shoulders begin to dissipate. 

"Know what would really make me feel better, though?" 

Ali turns, gives her a knowing look and rolls her eyes.

"You're either gonna say sex or a real puppy of our own, aren't you?" 

"I was actually gonna say both, miss thing," Ashlyn sasses, laughing, feeling lighter than she has in weeks. She pulls Ali down into her embrace, places a kiss on her forehead before sighing dramatically. "I am willing to settle for sex and puppy videos, though."

Ali just shakes her head, snuggles down, and presses play. 

 

\-------

As always, thanks for reading! Please comment if you have the time with your thoughts/feelings/wishes for future chapters.


	5. Escape

The saltwater rushes up her nose as she attempts a clumsy dive under the wave, and when she finally finds her feet to stand, thankfully on the other side of said wave, a coughing and sniffling mess, her girlfriend is a few feet away, sitting on her own board, laughing profusely.

"Shut up," Ali says, sending a glare Ashlyn's way as she tries to find the most dignified way to brush the wet hair from her face and stop hacking up seawater. 

"I'm sorry, babe," Ashlyn laughs. "But you are...a sight," she raises her eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure you got snot in your hair when you were trying to blow the water out." Ali scrunches her face is disgust.

"Ew. Oh my god. I hate surfing," Ali whines as she frantically runs her fingers through her long hair. 

"No you don't," Ashlyn replies. "You hate not being good at something. Surfing, in this case. Because you are really not good at it, Al."

"Yeah, message received," Ali grumbles. "How much longer are we gonna be out here?" She asks, looking longingly for the shore. She'd been eager to try, had been looking forward to getting out into the water with Ashlyn on their first trip down to Florida together, and she had (clearly incorrectly) assumed that, being an athlete and all around coordinated person, she'd pick surfing up fairly quickly. 

She'd still clung to that thought the first time she tried to catch a wave, and found herself ass up in the ocean, board dragging behind. But with a little encouragement from Ashlyn, she'd paddled back out, and tried again. And again. And again. After what felt like seventeen tries, she'd managed to stand, and lasted about one second before topping over into the clear water.

Her determination had given way to frustration, and she was now full on pissed. Especially as she watched Ashlyn effortlessly glide through the water. Her competitive spirit was not having any of this bullshit.

"I'd like to catch a few more, but why don't you head in to shore and dry off? I think there's still a good hour or so of prime tanning time," Ashlyn teases, and the thought does perk Ali up slightly. "Plus I packed some stuff in the bag you might wanna check out." She winks at Ali, and blows her a kiss. 

Ali sends one last half-hearted glare at Ashlyn, and then, on second thought, a big splash of water to the face. She makes it back to shore (and only is almost crippled by just one wave, thank you very much) and plops unceremoniously on the blanket they'd laid out earlier.

Remembering Ashlyn's words, Ali unzips her backpack as she rubs a towel over her hair. She pulls out a book she'd been dying to read and a thermos with a sticky note attached.

"Sorry you suck at surfing, babe," Ashlyn's scrawl reads,and Ali rolls her eyes. "But I love you for trying. Plus you gotta let me be better at something than you, okay? You already have everything else. Xoxoxo PS this is a margarita. Enjoy!" Despite the frustration of the day, Ali feels a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Leave it to Ashlyn to annoy her, compliment her, and be thoughtful all in one short post-it note

With a glance out to her girlfriend, a little dot out in the ocean, Ali takes a deep breath, cracks open the thermos and the book, and leans back as the sound of the waves and the sunshine put her at peace.

About forty minutes later, Ali is engrossed in her book and the margarita-filled thermos has long been empty. She doesn't hear Ashlyn approach until she's already plopping down beside her.

"Hi babe," Ashlyn says, leaning over to place a kiss on Ali's sun kissed shoulder. "Good book?" 

"Mmmhmm," Ali replies, finishing the page before turning on her side. "Thanks for the goodies. Except what are you, a psychic? How'd you know I was gonna suck?" She scowls slightly, and Ashlyn laughs.

"Because everyone sucks the first time they surf. And because you have to stay calm. And because when you can't do something the right way immediately, you do not stay calm," she raises her eyebrows at Ali. 

"Oh, you think you know me so well," Ali rolls her eyes, but falls into Ashlyn's side. "That was a good margarita, by the way."

"Only the best for you, my dear. There's a whole pitcher waiting for us at home. And I bought some steaks for grilling when I was at the store," Ashlyn pulls Ali down so they're laying on the blanket, looking up at the clear blue sky.

"I love vacation," Ali comments. "I love my job -- our job, but damn, I love coming down here to leave all the madness behind. We're so busy all the time in Germany and New York and DC and I'm so happy with everything we have, but being able to sneak down here, just us? It's the perfect escape, honestly."

"Mmm," Ashlyn hums in agreement. "Sun, surf, sand, steaks, sex. What more could a girl ask for?" Ali lets out a loud laugh, squeezes Ashlyn's hand.

"Well, a girl could ask if you happened to buy any ice cream at the store today," she quips. 

"Al, didn't we already establish that I'm an Ali-Krieger-psychic? Of course I got ice cream. I also bought a watermelon."

"I love watermelon!" 

"Yeah, dude, I know," Ashlyn grins, planting a kiss to Ali's cheek. "C'mon. All this talk of food has me hungry." She helps Ali up off the blanket, and begins to pack up. She feels Ali come up behind her, snake her arms around her middle.

"Love you," Ali murmurs into Ashlyn's warm skin.

"Love you too," Ashlyn turns with a grin. "But damn, you are terrible at surfing. I shoulda taken a video!" And with that, she's off running, dodging the grasp of her girlfriend who is chasing her, whipping a towel at her legs, until they both collapse into the surf.

 

\----

As always, thanks for reading! And thanks to those who have commented, it is much appreciated.

I always welcome any thoughts/comments/wishes for future chapters!


	6. First Cap

Ashlyn hears the soft footsteps pad towards her, feels Ali's arms wrap around her, and can't help but smile when a steaming mug of coffee is placed in her hands as she's joined on the balcony.

"You're up early," Ali comments, kissing Ashlyn's cheek. Ashlyn nods and turns toward the other woman.

"Too amped, couldn't sleep any longer," she explains, and Ali nods knowingly.

"I figured. There's a pretty legit breakfast situation happening for you in there," Ali gestures inside. "Gonna need all your energy today." She has a proud smile playing on her lips that Ashlyn can't help but notice.

"Big day today, huh?" She asks rhetorically, pulling Ali in for a hug.

"Pretty big, I'd say," Ali murmurs into her chest. "We've been waiting a long time for this." Ashlyn makes a noise of agreement, and Ali pulls back, eyes sparkling, only to lean back in, this time for a kiss.

Of course, that's the second they hear the telltale signs of someone coming to ruin their moment.

"Mama? Can you help me?" Six year old June steps out onto the balcony, still in her pink polka dot pajamas, hair in disarray, clutching her shin guards and cleats. "I can't get em on all by myself," she says, frowning. 

Ali bends down to grab the gear from her daughter, pulling her in to a hug and getting a smooch on the cheek in the process.

"Honey, your game isn't for a couple hours, so let's wait a little to get all suited up, okay?"

"But I wanna wear them now," June replies. "It's game day!" She says with exasperation, sticking a hand on her hip for emphasis, and Ali hears Ashlyn chuckle behind her. 

"She is so your child," Ashlyn mutters with a laugh as she squats down next to her girls. 

"Hey, Junie bug, look. I'm not in my uniform either, see? We don't wanna put our stuff on yet because what if it gets dirty at breakfast? Then what would we wear to our game?" She raises her eyebrows in mock alarm at the idea, and June reluctantly nods.

"Okay. But you and Eli are the ones who gets messy at breakfast, Mommy, not me," June points out, much to Ali's delight. "Can we get dressed right after we eat, though?" 

"Sure, bug," Ashlyn says, scooping up her daughter as they trail Ali back inside, both shouting with glee as they realize Ali's making pancakes. 

An hour and a half later, after pancakes and a Skype session with Kelley and Hope, the former of whom teaches June some slightly excessive goal celebrations, the latter of whom tries to get in some last minute tactics teaching, Ali's standing in the kitchen, neatly securing June's dark hair into a bun ("I want hair like yours, Mama, when you play soccer!"), when Ashlyn comes hurrying into the kitchen, carrying two year old Eli.

"You guys almost ready?" Ali nods, placing the last bobbypin, and June hops down from her perch on the counter.

"Wow, J-bug, you look like a pro!" Ashlyn gushes, taking in her daughter's slightly-too-big green jersey, black shorts, and green and white striped socks that (of course) stretch beyond her knees. Ashlyn is wearing a green polo in the same color, and matching black shorts. "Look at your sister, Eli, doesn't she look good?"

"Sissy good," Eli repeats back, grinning at his mom as she places him down on the ground.

"Thanks, mommy," June gives a little twirl, then stops abruptly. "I mean, thanks coach," she corrects herself, and both Ali and Ashlyn laugh. 

"You can call me mommy, Junie. I'm still your mom," Ashlyn winks at her daughter as she grabs her green hat and sunglasses off the counter, along with June's water bottle.

"Oh. Good," June says, clearly relieved. "You look very fancy, too, mommy." She says primly. 

"Why thank you, ladybug," Ashlyn bends down to plant a kiss on the top of June's head.

"Alright, you two cuties come here, I wanna take some pictures!" Ali exclaims, camera in hand, as she scoops up her son to keep him from invading the mini photo shoot she's planning on having.

Ashlyn crouches down next to June and pulls her in close, squeezing her side to make her giggle. It works, and her daughter lets out a long laugh that sounds almost identical to Ali's. 

(Most of the time, Ashlyn wonders how she got so lucky, to have a complete miniature version of her wife. Occasionally, like on a family trip to the mall, as June insists on trying on every outfit in GapKids, Ashlyn doesn't appreciate the similarities as much.)

"Okay, one, two, three," Ali counts, with Eli echoing, and Ashlyn and June both smile widely for the camera. Ali manages to get several good pictures before asking them to pose similarly outside on the porch. And then in front of the big tree. And then back by the front door.

Finally, Ashlyn grabs the phone from her wife. "Alright, I think that's enough paparazzi for today. We don't wanna be late for our very first game, right?"

"We can't be late, Mama! C'mon let's go!" June yells in alarm, grabbing Ali's hand and pulling her toward the garage. 

They get the kids into their seats, and Ashlyn places the last of her coaching equipment inside. She closes the trunk door and turns, only to come face to face with Ali.

"Have I told you how good you look in that uniform?" Ali whispers, and Ashlyn gives her a smirk.

"Thought I saw you checkin me out earlier," she replies, and Ali laughs.

"Always, babe. Always." She leans in and gives her wife a quick peck on the lips. "Can you believe our baby girl has her first real soccer game today?" 

"I know, she's growing up too fast! I swear she just learned how to walk," Ashlyn complains. "And now she's playing soccer, with like, positions and goals. Might as well just get her college applications ready," she groans.

"Right?" Ali agrees. "Well at least we've still got our little man. But I can't wait to see how cute Junie looks out there. I hear her coach is a real hottie," Ali winks, and Ashlyn gives her a dimpled smile.

"I think I heard that rumor, too," Ashlyn leans in for one more quick kiss, but is quickly stopped by the startling sound of the car horn being leaned on.

"Mommy! Mama! Let's go!" They hear Junie yell bossily from inside the car, where she has managed to free herself from her buckle to climb into the front seat. 

"Lesss go!" Eli shouts, copying his sister.

"Right now, Mommy!" June shouts, and Ashlyn and Ali hustle to their respective car doors.

"Don't even say it," Ali warns with a look as they hop in. It's quiet for a second, but Ashlyn can't quite let it go.

"Good god, she is so your child."

\-----

The first flash forward chapter! Let me know how you liked it! As always, comments are greatly appreciated, and thank you for reading.


	7. Gold

The whistle blows, and she drops to her knees. She knows people are screaming, cheering, yelling. Knows her teammates are running amuck, fans are dancing in their seats. But she can't hear it, can't see it. She drops to her knees in a daze, an unbelieving, relieved, free, ecstatic daze. They've won the World Cup. They've fucking done it. On this field, the one that took her Olympic dreams from her three years before. The tears taste different this time, less bitter. It takes her a second before she realizes that she wants to join the joyous celebration taking place on the field around her, but when she does, she's up. 

Hope runs by her, grabbing her shoulder with a quick "love you" that later Ali teases her for (once so stingy with vocalizing her emotions, Kelley now has her slinging casual declarations of love out to teammates.) Christen runs by, too, sends her a wink and mouths "I told you so" and Ali can't help but grin through the tears.

Christen, sweet, optimistic Christen had been Ali's roommate here in Vancouver. Ali was glad; the two had become good friends in Sweden and she appreciated Christen's low-key energy. And yesterday, they'd been laying in their beds, both a little too amped to sleep, when Ali had said it aloud.

"What if we lose?" She whispered into the darkness, and she heard the rustle of sheets as Christen rolled over. "I mean, we're gonna win," Ali adds decisively. "But what if...we don't?"

"Not gonna happen," Christen says with confidence. "We're gonna win. I just know it." Christen sounds so absolutely sure of herself, that Ali can't help but accept it.

"Okay," she says, but Christen can tell her mind is still playing the what-if game.

"We're gonna win," Christen repeats, "and then Ashlyn's gonna get down on one knee, grab the mic from whichever FIFA asshole shows up, and propose to you in the center of BC Place," she teases, drawing a laugh from Ali.

"She won't, she knows I'd kill her," Ali argues. "She wants to live to get that medal, she better stay up on her damn feet."

"Public proposal not really your thing?" Christen giggles.

"Definitely not," Ali shakes her head, forgetting Christen can't see her. "Plus, it should be about the game, and the team, you know? Not about us."

"Yeah," Christen agrees. "And it will be. When we win tomorrow. No more doubts, okay?"

"Okay," Ali agrees quietly. "Thanks, Chris."

"Anytime, roomie. Now can you please text Ashlyn back? She's texted me like three times in the last five minutes asking if you're stressing too much."

So when Christen mouths 'I told you so' through the din that comes with winning a World Cup, Ali just gives her a megawatt grin as she nods in agreement.

"You did," she shouts, and Christen's own grin grows.

Every teammate she finds has the same dumbfounded, amazed look on their face, and each hug is a release of months of pressure and expectations and stress and soreness. They're laughing and crying and she's still walking around with this weird out of body feeling going on, and she's looking for Ashlyn.

 

The whistle blows, and she's already off, sprinting onto the field, mouth open in perma-scream. She finds Abby, Heather, she's hugging anyone she can find, putting all her pride and love and satisfaction into each squeeze. Because they've done it. Won the World Cup. And she was a part of it; finally, painstakingly, a part of it. 

And she was damn proud. Of herself, her teammates. Of her best friends, her tribe. Of Ali. 

She's vaguely aware of Ali's presence somewhere on the pitch, but there's too many people, too much melee blocking her view. The stadium is loud, pounding, and people are shouting and celebrating and each time she ends an embrace, a new one starts, and she's never been one to turn down a hug. She wipes tears from Tobin's eyes, she herself too wired to even have the emotional capacity for tears. They'll come later, and Ali will laugh with her.

She's about 100% sure that Ali is crying right now, wherever she is. Probably doing the thing where she takes deep breaths to try to keep the tears from running down her face. She claims it's all about the mascara, but Ashlyn knows it's because she hates looking vulnerable in front of people. And also because of the mascara.

They had agreed privately that, in the event of a win (knock on wood, Ali had muttered and Ashlyn had reached for the side table), they would save their personal celebration for later. They always strove to be as professional as absolutely possible on the pitch, and that extended even to a World Cup win. They had reasoned that there would be plenty of time to celebrate after the fact, but in the moment, it should remain about the team.

But that doesn't mean they both aren't acutely aware of their separation at the moment. Ali is walking with Dawn, still taking deep, disbelieving breaths. She sees a whip of blonde hair but can't keep up with the maze of people in front of her.

Ashlyn sees Ali approach though, laughing and crying simultaneously at something their fitness coach is saying. She stops her conversation (or rather, synchronized joyous yelling) with Kelley and simply waits for Ali to find her.

She watches Ali look up, scan the mass in front of her. Ashlyn takes the smallest step to her left, and Ali catches the movement.

Their eyes meet. Neither makes a move to go any further; Ashlyn is fairly certain that private decision aside, she'd swing Ali around and kiss her if she got any closer. Ali is having similar thoughts. But their gaze holds and their thoughts are easily decipherable to the other -- I love, I'm so proud of you, we did it, we won, I love you.

 

It's later, much later, after champagne and more champagne and dancing and screaming and medals -- gold medals dangling heavily around their necks, when Ali rolls over in bed (the roommate situations had become quite blurry this evening), and places a kiss to Ashlyn's collarbone. 

"We're World Cup winners," she murmurs, and Ashlyn grins as she looks down at the medal on her chest (Ali insisted.) 

"We are," she agrees. "And you are amazing, you played so well, you know?" It's late, and she's drunk, and she'd like to be more articulate, but she'll save that for another day.

Ali's face turns serious. "Ash, I couldn't have done any of it without you." her voice is strong, and surprisingly slur free. "I couldn't have done it without you."

It's funny, Hope had said the same thing to her earlier in the locker room. Ashlyn had slapped Hope's ass on the way from the shower, and Hope had turned. "Couldn't have done it without you Harris," she had called with a sincere smile, and it had caught Ashlyn off guard but she had treasured it.

This, though, Ali looking at her with such admiration and love, this is so much better than that. She knows it's true, and she knows Ali knows it's true. Ashlyn was there for all the injuries and tears and setbacks and bad games and shitty days. She was there when Ali needed to vent or practice or cry. And the reverse is true, too. Ali was there when Ashlyn was left off rosters, relegated back, swollen from surgeries. And so she just smiles a wide, dimpled smile.

"Couldn't have done it without you, either, Alex. We're unstoppable together," she intones, and Ali giggles, and her laughter is contagious, and they laugh together until they can't catch their breath, gold still glinting on their chests.

 

\-----

Thanks for reading, and thank you so much to those of you who comment, it is much appreciated and definitely encouraging.


	8. Hurting

Ashlyn's leg is bouncing up and down, restless, as she looks out the rain-smeared window. She's exhausted, she booked the first flight she could, and even though the flight itself was long and smooth, her thoughts were whirling far too messily for any sleep.

"Five more minutes," she hear from beside her, and she turns to give a grateful smile. 

"Thanks again, Ken. I really appreciate you picking me up," she says, and he returns a small smile.

"Don't mention it," he replies. "I'm glad you're here for her. She needs you." He says simply, but it hits her straight in the gut. 

He's pretty spot on about the five minutes, and soon they're pulling up the house. Ashlyn swallows nervously, and then reminds herself that her girl is inside, in pain and heartbroken, and Ali doesn't need her to be nervous, she need her to be strong.

Ashlyn follows her dad into the house, dropping her bag by the stairs as she passes. They both pause outside of her room, and she's surprised when he pulls her in for a quick hug. 

"I meant what I said in the car. Thank you for being here for my girl. Our girl, I suppose," he says as he gives Ashlyn a manly clap on the back. 

She swallows hard, meets his eyes, and finally asks the question both have been avoiding.

"How is she? Really?" Ken sighs and rubs his eyes. 

"Not good. Devastated, pretty much. But she won't talk to me about it, or her mom, or Kyle, or Liz. That first night in the hospital, she just kept crying for you." He answers, and Ashlyn feels her heart break for her girlfriend. Ken gives her one more pat on the back and then turns, leaving Ashlyn to the closed door in front of her.

She takes a deep breath, steeling herself, reminding herself that she needs to be strong for Ali. She knocks lightly and then gently pushes the door open.

The room is dark, the tv showing the DVD main menu. Ali is curled up on the bed, as much as she can be with her knee, her face turned away from the door. Ashlyn walks slowly over to the bed and catches sight of an uneaten sandwich and mounds of crumpled tissues. 

"Hey, Alex," she whispers, and she can tell by the tensing of Ali's shoulders that she's awake. But she doesn't turn to look at Ashlyn. "Alex," Ashlyn breathes again. But when she still doesn't get a response, she continues around to other side of the bed, squatting so that she's level with Ali's face.

Ali's eyes are closed, but tears are streaming down her cheeks, and Ashlyn tenderly reaches up to brush them away with her thumb.

"Y'know, I just took a seven hour flight to get here, the least you could do is let me see those pretty eyes of yours," she teases lightly, and it works. Ali opens her eyes, attempts a watery smile, but instead bursts into tears.

"Hey, hey I've got you babe, I'm here," Ashlyn murmurs as she tries to get onto the bed as gently and quickly as possible. "Shhh, Alex, I've got you," She settles herself against the headboard and wraps her arms around Ali, rubbing her back slowly with one hand while she kisses Ali's forehead.

Ali cries for a full half hour, the force of the tears coming and going, sobs catching in her throat, her nose running. And Ashlyn just holds her. She murmurs soothing nothings, hands her tissues, continues to place soft kisses on Ali's head. Because she's been here before, and she knows it's what Ali needs. She also knows how awful it feels.

Finally, Ali is mostly just sniffling, and this time when Ashlyn hands her a tissue, she wipes her nose and then turns her head up to look at her girlfriend.

"I got your shirt all wet," she says in a pitifully small voice, and Ashlyn gives her hand a squeeze.

"Yeah, but it'll dry. I'm more concerned about the snot trails on my sleeve," she offers a small teasing smile, and Ali is able to ruefully smile back, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thank you for coming," she whispers, ducking back down into Ashlyn's chest. 

"No where I'd rather be," Ashlyn replies confidently. It's quiet for a minute or two as Ali tries to formulate the words she wants to say, as Ashlyn lets her.

"I'm not going to the Olympics." She's able to say it, but it comes out hard, a harsh truth, a simple statement of fact, but it's like a knife digging into her heart, and she feels Ashlyn's arms tighten around her.

"Al," Ashlyn takes a deep breath. "More than anything, I wish I could tell you that wasn't true, that you will go and you will win and everything will work out. I want that for you so, so badly. But I don't know. I don't know if you'll make it back in time, I don't know if your knee will heal quickly or take a little longer. We just can't know. And that's the shittiest part, I remember. And I'm so sorry that you even have to deal with any of this, I just...I hate this, Al. I hate this for you." Her voice breaks toward the end, and Ali finds herself tearing up again.

"It's not fair," she says quietly, and she feels Ashlyn take a deep breath. 

"It's not fair," Ashlyn agrees. 

"I hate the not knowing." Because Ashlyn's right, there are so many unknowns. She hasn't even had the surgery yet. She doesn't know how or when or even if she'll be playing soccer again, let alone making it back to the top. And that loss of control, loss of knowledge, that's what has kept her awake. That's what's kept the tears coming, the pain from subsiding. 

"Me too." Ashlyn scoots a finger under Ali's chin, tilts it until Ali's eyes meet her own. "Know what I do know, though?" Her lips meet Ali's for just a moment.

"I know I love you. I know that you are strong, and determined, and a fighter. I know that you're going to do everything you possibly can to get back to the pitch as quickly as you can. I know that you're gonna challenge yourself and you're gonna push yourself, and I know that it's gonna be hard as fuck. But I also know that I'm gonna be here for you, every single step of the way. And you're gonna get through this, and you're gonna be a stronger, better version of yourself for it. I know it." Her words are spoken with such certainty, such strength, that Ali feels them all the way to her core.

Ashlyn's eyes are still on her, intense, focused, willing her to believe. 

"You promise?" Ali's voice is so full of vulnerability that Ashlyn can hardly stand it, but she nods emphatically.

"Yeah, baby. I promise." She seals said promise with a long, sweet kiss, that lasts until Ali pulls back slightly.

"Even pinky-promise?" Ali asks, batting her eyelashes as she sticks our her pinky. Ashlyn can't help but grin -- her girl was at least feeling a little better, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Even pinky-promise," Ashlyn affirms, and she joins their pinkies together. Ali melts back down, Ashlyn shifts a little to get comfortable. 

"I haven't been sleeping," Ali admits in a low voice.

"I figured. Just so happens that it's like 3am Germany time, so how about a nap?" Ashlyn suggests. 

"I don't know if I can fall asleep, my brain won't turn off," Ali says, but Ashlyn just pulls her down lower, her hand taking up residence on Ali's back once more.

"Just close your eyes, babe. I'm here," Ashlyn replies quietly, as she moves her hand rhythmically. 

"I love you," Ali murmurs against Ashlyn's chest. "You being here is the only good thing about this."

Ashlyn just squeezes her a bit tighter, plants another kiss on Ali's head. 

Not even five minutes later, Ali's breathing is slow and even. Ashlyn allows herself a self-congratulations before closing her own eyes. She knows that it'll be a long road back for Ali, with lots of tears and pain and fights, but right now she's got her in her arms, and Ali is at peace. For right now, it's enough.

\------

Thanks for reading! Please let me know any thoughts/comments/suggestions you might have -- particularly if you have a good idea for "R"!


	9. Interested

"You. My room. Ten minutes."

Tobin pauses, her forkful of eggs halfway to her mouth, and she blinks a few times (in her defense, she had just woken up, and it was their morning off.)

"What?" She mumbles, and Ashlyn looks at her with an exasperated sigh.

"I need you to come to my room in ten minutes. It's important." Ashlyn raises her eyebrows to convey said importance, and Tobin just nods slowly.

"Ookay," she drawls, and then she watches as Ashlyn stalks off to accost Whitney in much the same manner. 

After Ashlyn finally pivots and leaves the dining room, running her hands through her hair nervously, Whitney glances over and Tobin shrugs. 

But they're good friends, and so ten minutes later they're being yanked in a hotel room by Ashlyn.

"Dude, what is up with you?" Tobin asks, plopping down on a bed. 

"Yeah, you're being weirder than normal," Whitney agrees, and Ashlyn pauses in her pacing to throw a pillow at her. 

"Okay, assholes. I asked you here for some real advice, but if you're gonna be jerks about it, forget it," Ashlyn says frustratedly, and Whitney raises an eyebrow.

"Whoa, Ash. Chill out, we'll help you. But first, can you stop pacing? You're making me nervous." Whitney gives her friend a strange look. Ashlyn relents and dives face first down on the bed in front of her two friends.

"Ugh," she groans. "You guys, I'm so screwed. I'm so, so screwed." She rolls to face her friends. "I have a crush."

"Oh, are you talking about your insane love for Ali?" Tobin asks casually.

"Wait, what?" Whitney and Ashlyn cry together, Ashlyn's followed by a strangled "how did you know?!"

"Wait, WHAT?!" Whitney repeats, staring at Ashlyn. "You like Kriegs?"

"No!" Ashlyn blurts immediately, and Tobin laughs.

"Yeah you do, dude." She says, giving Ashlyn a sympathetic pat on the back. "You flirt with her all the time."

"Ashlyn flirts with everyone," Whitney rolls her eyes. "That's hardly proof."

"Ashlyn definitely doesn't flirt with everyone the same way she flirts with Ali Krieger," Tobin replies. "She likes her."

"Yeah, I do," Ashlyn mumbles, resigned, into the comforter. "But ugh, what am I supposed to do? I mean, she's straight, right?"

"Yes!" Whitney exclaims, at the same time as Tobin shrugs.

"Meh, I don't know," she says, and the other two turn to her incredulously. "I mean, she's definitely flirting back, Ash. I know she's dated dudes in the past, but haven't we all?"

"She's flirting back?" Whitney exclaims, and Tobin rolls her eyes.

"Are you like the least observant person ever, Whit? Or is this like a straight girl thing?"

"Hey! I'm observant, thank you very much," Whitney begins to counter, but Ashlyn sits up suddenly.

"Um can we please get back to the matter at hand? What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Well..." Whitney begins slowly, still processing all the information she's received in the last few minutes, "are you sure you really like her, it's not just like a new infatuation or something?" 

"I...I really like her, Whit," Ashlyn confesses. "She's so smart and witty and she calls me on my shit, she's fierce as hell, and have you seen that ass? She's beautiful. All I wanna do is hang out with her and talk to her about stuff and listen to her little mumble and stare into those eyes..." Ashlyn trails off when she realizes her friends are staring at her, amused expressions on their faces. "What? Shut up!" She says defensively, and Whitney laughs in amazement.

"Oh my god, how the hell did I miss this?" She wonders aloud.

"Probably because you've been so busy text flirting with Ryan," Tobin answers with a shrug, and Whitney immediately blushes.

"Text flirting with Ryan? Ryan from your yoga class, Ryan?" Ashlyn demands, and Whitney throws her hands in the air, face still crimson.

"I feel like we're getting off topic here!" She exclaims. "And what are you, a freaking detective?" She hisses at Tobin, who merely grins.

"Okay," Whitney says, attempting to regain some composure. "You like Ali. Based off that little soliloquy, I'm guessing you'd like it to go further than friendship. So what now?"

"That's what I'm asking you!" Ashlyn shrieks, face planting onto the bed again.

"Dude, I think you just gotta go for it." Tobin speaks up. "She laughs at your dumb jokes and she gets that nose crinkle thing when she smiles at you. She like, willingly sits next to you at dinner even when we all know you're gonna spill something."

"Yeah..." Ashlyn responds dreamily before snapping back to reality. "But what if that's just her being friendly? Because she is, right? Friendly? What if I'm just imagining or exaggerating, and she isn't interested in me at all?"

"I mean you won't really know until you do something about it," Whitney supplies. "I think Tobs might be right. I think you should talk to her. What's the worst that can happen?"

"She can tell me I've been misreading everything, that I've just made things super weird, and we can both be awkward for the rest of our careers whenever we come into contact with each other," Ashlyn says flatly, having thought this through before.

"Well," Whitney cringes. "That would suck."

"No shit," Ashlyn groans. "See? Screwed, I'm totally screwed."

She's still face down on the bed a minute later when HAO enters the room.

"What's up with my roomie?" She asks Tobin and Whitney, slapping Ashlyn on the ass as she walks by to her bed.

"Oh, she's just bemoaning the fact that she has a huge crush on Krieger, and there's no way of knowing if those feelings are in fact reciprocated," Tobin answers casually, causing Ashlyn to sit straight up and send her a murderous glare.

"Tobin fucking Heath!" She yells, while HAO lets out a long, loud laugh.

"Oh, those feelings are definitely reciprocated," Heather says, shaking her head. "Good god, you two."

The other three women in the room turn to stare at her, and Ashlyn very nearly falls off the bed once the words have sunk in.

"What are you talking about? What do you know?" She yelps. "Spill it right now, HAO!"

Heather laughs again. "Okay, I think the exact words were, 'I mean, she's the actual full-blown lesbian here, why the hell hasn't she made a move? How much more obvious can I be?' And then there was a lot of hand-wringing about whether or not she should tell you she likes you, or if that would just make things weird."

Ashlyn for once is at a loss for words, staring dumbfounded at her teammate.

"Now normally I wouldn't betray her confidence like this, but it could take you two idiots years to talk about it at this point, so measures had to be taken," Heather continues, and Whitney and Tobin both make sounds of agreement.

They all turn to look at Ashlyn, who is still mute, mouth gaped half open, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Um? It sounds like she's interested, Ash," Whitney says, furrowing her brow. 

"Interested is an understatement," HAO says under her breath, recalling the conversation she'd had with Ali not an hour before. ("She's just...she is so charming and sweet and honest. And she has such a good heart, and she's so determined, and she's gorgeous, honestly, Heather, and have you seen her tattoos?")

It's still quiet for a minute until Ashlyn leaps up onto the bed and does a double fist pump while letting out a loud whoop. 

"Oh my god," Whitney rolls her eyes as Ashlyn dive-bombs onto her and Tobin. 

"She likes me back, guys! Ali Krieger likes me back!" 

"Dude, I told you so," Tobin says, muffled from under Ashlyn's embrace.

"Yeah," Whitney says, narrowing her eyes at Tobin as she shoves Ashlyn off of her. "What the hell, Tobs? What else do you know?"

 

\-----

Thanks for reading! As always, comments/thoughts/suggestions welcome.


	10. June

"Oh my god. Oh my god!" Kelley half whispers, half squeals as she steps into the room. Hope's one step behind her, looking amused and unsurprised at the exuberance of her girlfriend. "Oh my god!" She repeats a third time, her eyes lighting up as she spies the tiny, pink-wrapped bundle in Ali's arms. Beautiful, glowing Ali with messy hair and tired eyes (but obviously mascara) and the biggest smile.

"Hey guys," Ashlyn greets the pair with her own unshakable grin. "Come on in, meet the cutest baby in the entire history of the world," she says proudly, placing a hand on Ali's shoulder and looking down at the baby - her baby - with a love struck expression, equal parts admiration and protection.

Kelley and Hope approach cautiously, like the baby is a bomb of sorts, and Ali laughs softly. 

"You guys, she's totally asleep. You can be normal," she tells them, shifting slightly in the bed, turning the tiny girl out a bit to face her visitors. 

"How on earth could I be normal at a time like this?" Kelley gushes. "Look at her! Look at her little nose! And her little eyebrows, oh my god!"

"I mean, she's pretty much perfect. I think we're gonna keep her," Ali agrees with a smile. "Do you wanna hold her?"

"Yes!" Kelley practically yelps, and Hope laughs.

"Easy there, tiger," Hope mutters, and Kelley doesn't take her eyes off the baby but turns to swat at her.

Ali moves to hand the baby over to Kelley, but Ashlyn intervenes, swooping her daughter up protectively, in one simple motion like she's done it all her life (but really, Hope wouldn't be very surprised if Ashlyn had been practicing with a doll -- Ali had confided that Ashlyn had taken to visiting Alex with the sole purpose of learning how to swaddle and burp expertly.)

"No way. You wanna hold the baby, you gotta sit down," she says seriously, gesturing to the chair behind Kelley, one arm wrapped securely around the little one.

"Seriously? I'm not like eight years old, Ash," Kelley scoffs, reaching toward the baby. Ashlyn turns away.

"Dude, you're a complete spaz. If you want this baby, you're gonna have to sit. And - for the record - you totally are like eight years old. Like I'd trust you standing up with my daughter," she responds, her voice swelling with pride and wonder at the last two words.

Kelley grumbles, Hope laughs silently, and Ali rolls her eyes.

"Who ever thought Ashlyn would be insanely overprotective?" She deadpans, and Ashlyn turns to her with mock outrage.

"Well excuse me for trying to keep our child out of danger," she replies, looking down at the infant. "Guess Mama just doesn't care about your safety," she murmurs to the still sleeping child.

"Okay now that's just offensive," Kelley says sullenly from her spot in the chair. "I'm sitting, alright? Bring me that sweet little baby!" 

Ashlyn moves slowly, carefully, over to Kelley, and bends down to place the baby in her outstretched arms.

"Careful! Watch her head and make sure you support her neck!" Ali calls from the bed, and Ashlyn grins.

"Now who's being overprotective?" She asks, and Kelley groans.

"Okay, I'm going to cut you guys some slack because you're brand new parents, but I'll have you know that I was the best babysitter in all of Georgia in my day. This isn't my first rodeo," she coos to the sleeping child in her arms. "No, it's not. Those silly mommies of yours," she murmurs quietly, wholly entranced by the little girl. 

"So, how was it?" Hope asks, turning to Ali. "The whole childbirth thing? Worse than the ACL?"

"Definitely different, and definitely painful," Ali laughs, and Ashlyn nods in agreement.

"Yeah, dude, you should see what she did to my hand. May have ended my goalkeeping career, she squeezed it so hard. I'm pretty sure I like have bone bruises," Ashlyn shakes out her hand, and Ali looks up at her, eyebrows raised.

"Yes, I'm sure those hours of continuous pushing were just terrible for you," she says pointedly, and Ashlyn at least has the sense to look chagrined.

"Sorry, babe. She was amazing," Ashlyn replies to Hope, "Absolutely amazing. So strong and it looked so awful and she just never gave up. I couldn't have done it, I don't think. She's incredible," Ashlyn looks down at her wife with such unbridled affection that Hope swears she actually has hearts in her eyes.

"I'm not going to lie, it was pretty awful, and you're so helpless, you know, that's the worst part. Like, I just wanted her to come out already, but you can't really make it go faster. And it hurts, like nothing else. But you know, what they say is true. It was totally worth it," she says, glancing over at Kelley and her daughter with a smile. "I'd do it over and over again, just to get her," Ali adds, tearing up a little. "Sorry," she laughs, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "Hormones."

"That's alright," Hope grins, handing over another tissue. "Although that might've been the sappiest thing I've ever heard you say."

"First of all, have you seen that sweet munchkin? I made a perfect human, don't be jealous. Secondly, you just wait til it's your turn, okay?" Ali replies. "Then, and only then, can you make fun of me." Her voice is teasing, and Hope's eyes go wide and she clears her throat.

Luckily, she's saved by the sound of Kelley's voice - a delighted, "oh, look who's waking up! Oh, hi! Hi sweetheart! You guys, she could not be more perfect," Kelley gushes, and both Ali and Ashlyn grin proudly. "Hope, you wanna hold her?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Hope bites her lip. "I'm not really - she's really little," she says lamely, because duh, she's a newborn.

But Ashlyn's already moving to take the baby away from Kelley, and is moving towards Hope, eyes trained on the baby. She coos and places a gentle kiss on the baby's cheek while Hope automatically reaches out her arms, and Ashlyn settles the baby carefully in the crook of her elbow.

"Hey, how come Hope doesn't have to sit?" Kelley pouts, but Hope hardly hears her, she's too busy with the sight of the infant in her arms. She lets out a breath she doesn't realize she was holding as the baby's brow unfurrows. 

"Oh wow," she whispers. "Hi, little one," she says softly, shifting her arms a little to cradle the infant more securely. The baby opens her eyes -- a deep blue currently, but sure to turn sparkling brown as she grows -- and Hope can't stop the smile spreading on her face. She feels Kelley wrap an arm around her waist, invading her personal space as always.

"Al, she looks just like you."

"Yep, she's just as beautiful as her mother," Ashlyn states proudly. 

"But she screamed bloody murder until she got to eat, so she's already got Ashlyn's temperament," Ali jokes. Hope looks up at the new parents; Ashlyn has settled herself next to Ali on the hospital bed. They look completely exhausted (Ashlyn somehow more than Ali, but Hope thinks that's probably because Ashlyn has refused to sleep since this whole ordeal started, wanting - needing - to keep an eye on her wife and daughter), but their faces are filled with pure joy. She notice the way Ashlyn's eyes track diligently between her wife in bed and the bundle in Hope's own arms, the way Ali reaches over to grab Ashlyn's hand, and she smiles.

"You guys are gonna be great parents," Hope says sincerely. "She's lucky to have you guys." And Ali immediately bursts into tears. 

"Sorry," she half laughs, half sobs. "Hormones. I just - you - and - thanks and - we - she," she cries and Ashlyn laughs. 

"I think what Alex means to say is thank you. And we feel like the lucky ones," she adds. 

"Aww," Kelley rolls her eyes in jest, and then reaches down and kisses the top of the baby's head softly. As if on cue, the baby's eyes begin to open, her brow furrows, and she lets out an almighty wail.

"Good god, Kel, what did you do?" Ashlyn accuses jokingly, while Hope looks around frantically, not sure what to do.

"Here, bring her here," Ali sniffles. "I think she's just hungry." Hope gently maneuvers the baby back into Ali's arms. Ali makes little shushing noises and lifts her gown, Hope averts her eyes, and soon enough, the crying stops.

"You're a natural," Hope notes, and Ali smiles wetly. 

"Don't make me cry again, Solo," she warns half-heartedly, gaze never leaving her daughter. Ashlyn resettles next to the pair, stroking the baby's cheek softly, kissing Ali on the forehead, both grinning their stupidly happy grins.

"Alright, well we'll get out of here, give you guys some family time," Hope looks at the new little trio and smiles. They're in the own little world, just staring at the little bundle who now has one tiny hand clutched around Ashlyn's pinky finger.

"Congrats again," Kelley says, and Ashlyn doesn't look up but gives a small wave. 

"Thanks for coming!" Ali calls softly, and Hope and Kelley are almost at the door when Kelley stops suddenly. 

"Wait! What's her name?" She asks with alarm, and Ali and Ashlyn turn to look at smile at one another before answering.

"June," Ashlyn says. "Her name is June."

 

\-----

Might be my personal favorite chapter so far. Let me know what you guys think!


	11. Knocked Up

Ashlyn wakes up to the smell of something delicious wafting into the room. She grins lazily; it's one of their rare mornings off, no responsibilities or errands waiting for her. She rolls over to find Ali's side of the bed empty, and with a groan and a stretch, she makes it out of bed.

She makes her way to the kitchen, where Ali is dancing to some Beyonce as she flips pancakes, and Ashlyn smiles at the familiar sight.

"Good morning, Princess," she says, coming up behind Ali and wrapping her arms around the other woman. She leans down slightly and places a kiss on her neck that Ali turns in to.

"Morning, babe," Ali murmurs in response, turning so that they're face to face. "I'm just makin' breakfast."

"I can see that," Ashlyn laughs. "How long have you been up?" Ali often wakes up first; she's more of an attack the day sort of person, whereas Ashlyn is perfectly content to remain in bed until it's absolutely vital that she move. Or until she smells something delicious coming from the kitchen, courtesy of her wife.

"Only half an hour," Ali responds, leaning in to place a quick kiss on Ashlyn's cheek. "Want blueberries or chocolate chips?" She asks, turning back to the pancakes.

"Mmmm, I don't care. You pick, babe. I'm gonna go shower real quick. Wanna walk to the farmers market after breakfast?"

"Yep," Ali agrees easily, biting her lip with a smile as Ashlyn heads back to the bathroom. As soon as she hears the door shut and the shower turn on, Ali races into the bedroom, pulls a carefully wrapped package out from under the bed, and with slightly trembling hands, places the box at Ashlyn's usual place on the dining room table. She then busies herself with the pancakes again, making half with blueberries (Ashlyn's preference), and half with chocolate chips (her own.) She's just rinsing the last of the dishes when Ashlyn saunters back in. Ali takes a deep breath to steady her nerves, and turns around with a big smile. And then she sees Ashlyn, and the sight is enough to banish any of her butterflies.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Ali asks with a laugh, brow furrowed. Her wife is wearing a casual chambray button up with a floral pocket square on top, looking lovely, and ratty, old, paint-splattered, holey, loose-elastic UNC shorts on bottom -- shorts that Ali has attempted to get rid of many times, in fact.

"What? I was getting ready but I got too hungry to finish," Ashlyn shrugs. "Plus, now I can eat a ton of pancakes. Elastic waistband," she says, snapping the top of her shorts to demonstrate.

"Sexy," Ali retorts sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

"You know you love it," Ashlyn teases, walking towards Ali. She places her hands on Ali's hips and pulls her so they're flush together.

"I do," Ali admits, and Ashlyn leans in for a long kiss. Ali indulges her for a moment, and then pulls away. "Come on, we don't want the pancakes to get cold," she says, gesturing to the food.

"Wouldn't want that," Ashlyn grumbles, and that's when she finally spots the present in front of her chair.

"Hey! What's this? It's definitely not our anniversary. Wait -- right? Unless we're celebrating a new anniversary?"

Ali laughs nervously. "No, babe. It's not our anniversary." Ashlyn sits down, quizzical look on her face, and Ali stays standing, hovering slightly behind the chair.

"Okay, well then what is it?" Ashlyn looks up at Ali, notices the nerves in her eyes, and something else too -- anticipation, maybe, but she can't quite place it. "Al?"

"Just, just open it, okay? The card's on top." Ashlyn looks at her strangely, curiously, but dutifully pulls the card off the top of the package. She slides a finger under the envelope's deal, and pulls out a purple card with hearts on it.

Ashlyn still doesn't understand, and she frowns in confusion as she flips the card open.

Congratulations! It reads in large italics. And then, smaller, underneath, in handwriting she would always recognize as Ali's --

hope you like it! you're amazing. we love you! 

And then, even smaller, the signature at the bottom of the card.

Alex + baby

Ashlyn's eyes flicker over the words once, twice, three times before the words even start to make sense. Her eyes dart up to Ali, who has tears in her eyes and a trembling smile on her lips.

"Alex?" Her voice is pleading, "Al, what?" She swallows down a lump in her throat, reaches out and grabs Ali's hand.

"Open the box, Ash," Ali says softly, biting her lip. It's silent as Ashlyn turns back, wide-eyed, to the package and carefully rips off the paper.

She opens the box inside, her hands shaking a bit. She feels Ali's hand rest on her shoulder, and she takes a deep breath. She reaches inside and pulls out her present.

It's a tiny, miniature jersey. A teensy national team jersey, with "Harris" on the back, right above the number 11. Her name, Ali's number.

It's everything.

Ashlyn turns around slowly, feeling as if she's dreaming. Her own eyes are filled with tears, she can feel them threaten to overflow, and she lets out a half-laugh, half-sob. She meets Ali's eyes, searching, and when Ali's face breaks out into a shy smile again, Ashlyn stands up so quickly she knocks the chair over. She captures Ali in her arms.

"Yeah?" She breathes, voice wavering. She pulls back to see a Ali nod.

"Yeah," Ali confirms, her smile growing more brilliant by the second. "We're gonna have a baby," her voice cracks, and Ashlyn buries her face in Ali's neck.

"I love you so much," she murmurs into Ali's skin, sealing the words with a kiss. She pulls back and lets out a joyous laugh. "I love you so fucking much."

"I love you too," Ali laughs, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. "We love you too," she adds, her eyes sparkling.

Ashlyn feels the tears come again as she places a hand on Ali's still flat stomach. "Hi baby," she whispers in awe. Ali places her own hand on top of Ashlyn's, and it's quiet for a moment as they stand there together.

"Wait, but Alex, how?" Ashlyn sits, pulling Ali down onto her lap.

"Um, you were there babe. Remember that vial of...sperm...and the big baster you stuck all up in there?" Ali wrinkles her nose at the memory -- not one of the most comfortable situations. Ashlyn rolls her eyes.

"Yes I recall that part. I mean, when you took the test, it was negative. I was there, I saw it." She hadn't believed it at first, the negative sign. She'd been so optimistic, both of them had been, sure that the test was merely a formality. They'd been giggling in the bathroom, waiting anxiously for the timer on Ali's phone to beep. And then Ali had peeked, and when she turned to bury her face into Ashlyn's neck, excitement gone, Ashlyn had just kept sneaking looks at the test, willing it to change.

Apparently, at some point, it had.

"I know, I guess if you test too early after the insemination it can come back negative. I went for my follow-up on Thursday and you have to give a urine sample, you know, and they called me yesterday and told me I was pregnant. And then when you were out with Niki I took like ten tests, just to be sure. And they all said the same thing," Ali explains, sniffling happily.

"Did you save them? The tests?" Ashlyn asks eagerly, and Ali laughs.

"Gross, Ash, I peed on them! But yeah, I totally saved them," she admits, grinning radiantly. "I knew you'd want to see them, you weirdo."

"Hey, this weirdo totally knocked you up, technically," Ashlyn defends. "You're pregnant. Holy shit, Al. Pregnant!" She repeats softly with a smile. "I can't believe it."

"Me either. But it's a good unbelievable, right?" Ali asks, and Ashlyn looks at her like she's crazy.

"Are you kidding me? Alex, this is the best kind of unbelievable," she says emphatically. "I love you so, so much. And I can't wait for this baby," she says, and this time she doesn't even attempt to stop the tears from coming. "You are perfect, and amazing, and I know our baby is gonna be perfect and amazing too. I know it." Her hand comes back to rest on Ali's stomach. "Best baby ever, probably best future goalkeeper ever. Or defender, I guess, that would be alright too," she adds with a soft chuckle.

"You're gonna be a great mom," Ali says tearfully. She can feel Ashlyn's smile in the kiss they share.

"So are you," Ashlyn replies as they separate, foreheads touching. "But hey! You're my baby mama and you got me a present and I didn't even know this was gonna be a present-giving occasion! You totally set me up for failure here," she accuses, and Ali giggles.

"Sorry babe," she says teasingly. "But I mean, I could probably think of some ways you could make it up to me..." She raises an eyebrow suggestively, and Ashlyn balks.

"Are we even allowed to do that?" She asks, voice dropping, and Ali rolls her eyes.

"Ash, I'm like eight weeks pregnant. The baby is pretty much the size of a pea. What do you think's gonna happen?"

"Well I don't know! But what if we like, hurt it somehow?"

"I'm pretty sure that's physically impossible, hon."

Ashlyn looks at her skeptically. "Can we Google it first? Make sure it's okay? I mean, that's my baby in there," Ashlyn says proudly, and Ali can't help the grin that overtakes her face at Ashlyn's last words.

"Alright, babe. We can Google it."

The pancakes are forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay in posting, but thanks for reading! As always, your comments/suggestions/thoughts are much appreciated.


	12. Longing

I miss you.

She doesn't mean to text it, not really. She's typed a similar message out too many times to count, in the mornings when waking up, at night when she's out with teammates. She's typed it sober, drunk, and all stages in between. She's typed it when she's been angry, defeated, exhausted, happy from a win, when she sees something that reminds her of something they'd shared. She's typed it all those times, but she's never worked up enough courage to hit send. It's lingered in her inbox for days, it's been deleted almost as quickly as it was written. It's never been sent.

Until tonight.

She's been gently harassed into joining some teammates at the pub after practice. She had planned on going home, eating a depressing meal for one and trying not to stalk Ashlyn's Facebook page for more than half hour, as had been her routine for the past three weeks. She'd been trying to keep it together in front of her friends and team, but no doubt they'd noticed, put the pieces in place, and she hated the sympathetic glances they would send her way.

Thankfully, no one had brought it up, no one had asked after Ashlyn, or when she was coming to visit next. They seemed to realize that something wasn't quite right, and thankfully, they let it be. Ali didn't think she could handle having to tell them -- tell them what, though? We broke up? I'm a coward? I'm pretty sure she hates me? I'm pretty sure I'm completely in love with her? 

So she'd kept her head down, had tried to join with the locker room laughter, had saved her tears for late at night, laying in bed, imagining Ashlyn's arms around her, thinking about how pathetic she was, how she regretted every action those last few days, how stupid she was, how selfish. Sometimes she'd get mad at Ashlyn,   
sometimes for pushing too hard, sometimes for not fighting for her hard enough. And then she'd be forced to laugh humorlessly at how much of a mess she was. She'd wake up in the morning, dark circles under puffy eyes, and try to smile through the pain and exhaustion, which was even more exhausting. 

Unsurprisingly, Nadine and Ariane had seen through the facade, and hadn't taken no for an answer today. They'd been insistent she join them. Even Sara had sided with them - "c'mon, Ali! You could use a drink, it seems."

Well, that wasn't wrong.

So she finds herself in a crowded bar in Frankfurt, being jostled at the counter as she's trying to place her order. Finally she grabs the beers, makes her way back to the table.

Many of the other girls are dancing, loud and carefree. She'd begged off, saying she'd go buy the drinks, and when she sits, only Nadine and Sara are there. She takes a long drag from her pint, and then places it down a little harder than intended.

"So," Nadine begins. "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" Ali returns, immediately defensive. She sees the sympathy in their eyes, and looks down. "We broke up," she mumbles. "Not a lot to talk about."

"Alex," Sara says, and Ali flinches at the nickname used so often by Ashlyn, "What happened?" Her voice is so soft, so sad on Ali's behalf that Ali can't help it and feels the damn tears threaten to emerge.

"I don't know," she says, and fuck, here come the waterworks. She thumbs hastily at her eyes, does not want to be the girl crying in the bar. Her friends are quiet, waiting for her to continue, so she does, haltingly, trying to stay collected. "We just...it just fell apart. I was - am - the World Cup was such a fucking disappointment and she just...she didn't seem to care as much, and...we just were fighting constantly. I called her callous, and selfish, and she called me entitled, and selfish, so that was great," she says with sarcasm, the familiar anger at Ashlyn, herself, the situation, rolling through her body. "And then she left. And then I had to leave. And I wanted her to ask me to stay. But she didn't, I'm here. So. That's that," she finishes, furiously blinking away the tears.

"Oh, Ali," Nadine says, swinging an arm around her shoulder. "So shitty," she commiserates, and Ali can't help but laugh at how succinctly she's put it.

"So shitty," she agrees, and Sara pushes her beer towards her.

"Drink up, lady." She orders with a wink. "We'll take care of you." And those words are more weighted, more sincere, and Ali meets her eyes with gratitude. Sara just winks again.

"I really miss her," Ali says softly after a minute of quiet. "I really, really miss her," she admits to her friends, herself. "I wish...I wish it had been different. I had been different." Because she does. 

She wishes she had seen then what she sees now, how Ashlyn had been so proud of her, had supported her tirelessly even through the pain of not being rostered herself, had tried to make her realize that even a silver medal couldn't tarnish what she'd accomplished, how hard she'd worked. But fresh from such a tough loss, Ali refused to listen. She'd been moody and depressed, snapping at Ashlyn. And then, in the heat of the moment, when Ashlyn was trying to convince her that she had to move on, couldn't let this define her, she had fired back, a screamed, "you weren't there, you wouldn't understand!" That had left Ashlyn frozen for a second before she had slammed the door behind her, and Ali had been too worked up to realize what she had said, what she'd done to her girlfriend.

The worst part was that she understood now, and it was too late.

No one says anything, but Sara slides out of her side of the booth and in next to Ali. She rests her head on her shoulder and gives her a quick squeeze. 

Ali takes a deep breath, steadies herself, and downs the rest of her pint.

It's later that night, after several more rounds and the temporary peace of her friends' support and a slight buzz, that she stumbles into her bedroom. 

She digs around in her dresser to find an old UNC shirt of Ashlyn's, and she tugs it on before burying herself in the covers of her bed. Like clockwork, the tears burn in her eyes, and before she can think better of it, she types out the text. Her finger only hovers over the send button for a second before she presses it decisively. 

I miss you.

And then she turns her phone off, all the way off, places it face down on the bedside table, curls onto her side, and cries herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! Any thoughts/comments/suggestions welcome.


	13. Miss You

The text lights up her phone just before dinner time, but she's in the ocean, trying to escape reality for a little while, hoping the waves and the saltwater will work to quell her never-quieting mind.

They do, if only briefly. For a glorious two hours, she's only focusing on catching waves, riding them out, and repeating. For two full hours, she is able to push Ali out of her mind.

And then she starts to get hungry, so she trudges wearily back to her towel and bag. She pulls out her phone to check the time, and that's when she sees it.

It's a three word gut punch, completely blindsiding her. She hasn't heard from Ali in three weeks -- hasn't contacted her for that long either, although God knows she's wanted to; she's composed long emails and speeches in her mind, on runs, on drives, while watching TV with her grandma. Some have been defensive, some apologetic. Some romantic, some combative. But she couldn't ever bring herself to commit it down to anything, so the silence between them had stretched.

Ashlyn quickly does the math -- it's late in Frankfurt. She wonders if Ali is drunk. She's not sure if that makes it better or worse. 

"Fuck!" She screams, wanting nothing more than to throw her phone as far as she can into the ocean.

The worst part was, she'd been doing better this week. Or, actually, she'd been doing a better job of pretending she was alright this week. She'd begrudgingly allowed Jess and Chris to take her out one night, and she'd started going for long runs on the beach in the mornings. 

She wasn't spending all day moping in bed in her pajamas, crying intermittently and then yelling angrily "I'm fucking fabulous!" at anyone who dared to ask if she was alright. But she'd still catch herself with that lump in her throat from time to time, and she still obsessively checked Ali's Facebook every night. She still felt like a part of her was missing, still felt that acute pain every time she realized Ali wasn't hers anymore.

And it was all so stupid, really. Maybe she'd been too dismissive of Ali's feelings, maybe she hadn't wanted to hear all about how close they got, and what a disappointment it was to come in second. But frankly, Ashlyn was really fucking jealous that Ali got to go at all, and she was trying to hard to be supportive in spite of that, and it felt like Ali just dismissed it all. They were finally back in the same country, but it didn't seem like Ali even cared that Ashlyn was there. Everything was tense and awkward, which had never happened before. It was awful.

And then Ali had spat "you weren't even there!" at her, and it had hurt. A lot. And so she'd done the only thing she knew; she ran. She left, choosing to ignore the immediate regret in Ali's eyes, and she came back when she knew Ali would be gone to get the rest of her things. She was a coward.

That was three weeks ago. Ali had gone back to Germany. She'd been quiet on social media. Ashlyn had tried to fish for updates, but either Ali wasn't talking to anyone or no one was telling her anything.

And then, this. This text. I miss you. And Ashlyn found herself nodding in agreement to this simple statement, because she missed Ali so much it took her breath away sometimes.

She missed her laugh, and her eyes, and the way she hated hugs but would give one if Ashlyn asked. She missed her making pancakes in the morning, pouring wine at night. She missed their inside jokes, the way one single word could send them into a tailspin of laughter. She missed the way Ali's body felt, tucked up securely beside her own.

"Fuck," she exclaims again, but with less venom. She exits the text, then presses a few buttons, placing the phone up to her ear.

"She texted me," she says, in lieu of hello, when she hears Heather pick up.

"What'd she say?" Heather asks immediately, and Ashlyn sighs.

"I miss you. That was it."

"Oh, Ash," HAO says sympathetically. "Are you gonna text her back?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe," she admits, rubbing her eyes. "What should I do?"

"Do you miss her too?"

"I think you know the answer to that," Ashlyn laughs mirthlessly. "I'm fucking in love with her."

"Well. You can either ignore her, try to move on. Or you can text her back, and see what happens. As far as I can tell, you both said things you regret, and let pride get in the way -"

"Yeah but she said -," Ashlyn attempts to interject, but HAO shuts her down.

"Oh you're telling me you didn't say anything you didn't mean to her?" She asks with an implied eye roll.

"No," Ashlyn grumbles.

"That's what I thought. You guys had a fight. It was a bad one. And you ran off, and she got defensive and closed up. And you're both so damn stubborn."

Ashlyn sighed again. "But what now, HAO? I mean, I'm not...she's in Germany, and...I don't know. I just don't know."

"Maybe just text her back. See what happens. Doesn't mean you have to get back together tomorrow. But you guys obviously both still care for each other, and I think it would be silly not to try to make things right, whatever that means."

It's quiet for a moment as Ashlyn contemplates what Heather's saying.

"That's some solid advice, O'Reilly," she says begrudgingly.

"Oh I'm just following the script the team wrote out," Heather jokes (although later Ashlyn will wonder if she's actually serious.) "We just want you both to be happy. And you guys really made each other happy."

"Yeah," Ashlyn agrees wistfully. "We did. Thanks, bud."

"Anytime," Heather replies immediately. "Love you, Ash."

"Love you, weirdo," Ashlyn says before hanging up.

She sits there on the sand for a few more minutes, trying to sift through her feelings. She wasn't quite ready to forgive Ali yet, she knew that. But maybe Ali wasn't quite ready to forgive her yet, either. And maybe that was okay. 

It had been so easy, being with Ali. It had been so easy until it had not, and then it had crumpled, and neither of them had tried to stop it from doing so. And that wasn't okay; they both deserved better than that. Their relationship deserved better than that. And now they both had been wallowing in self pity and, Ashlyn assumed, the same things that had stopped her from reaching out had stopped Ali from doing the same.

Until now. Until the text. Ashlyn opens it, stares at the words until they start to go blurry. She hesitates for a second, and then begins to type.

Me too.

And she presses send.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you guys totally called it! Hope you enjoyed. Thoughts/comments are lovely.


	14. Name

"What do you think of Lucy?"

Ashlyn pokes her head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in mouth.

"Who's Lucy?" She garbles out before ducking back in to spit and rinse.

"For the baby," Ali calls, instinctively resting a hand on her belly.

"Oh," Ashlyn says as she reappears. "I dated a Lucy. That'd be weird."

"Oh great," Ali throws her hands up. "If we can't use the name of any girl you dated or slept with, we won't have any names to choose from!" She gives her wife a teasing smile, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes as she slides into bed next to Ali.

"Very funny, Al. Mama's got jokes, huh?" She says, rubbing Ali's belly. "She thinks she's soooo funny."

"I am funny, thank you very much," Ali retorts. "So that's a no on Lucy?"

"Yeah. No on Lucy."

"Okay, what about Sophie?"

"Sophie was my dog's name growing up. I'm not naming our daughter after a dog. What about Alice?"

Ali shakes her head. "Kelley called dibs on Alice, for Hope's grandma."

"Ava?" Ali's voice is hopeful, and Ashlyn looks at her with a nervous smile.

"Don't...hit me or anything, but...I definitely dated a girl named Ava. And she was a lunatic. She wanted me to -" Ashlyn's cut off by a withering glare. "Uh, nevermind, but probably a veto for Ava."

"So she'll just be nameless forever?" Ali whines, pouting at Ashlyn.

"I mean, we do still have three more months," Ashlyn points out, and Ali sighs.

"I knoooow," she exhales. "I just like the idea of knowing who she is, and being able to call her by her name and stuff."

"You just wanna buy that insanely expensive monogrammed bedding from Pottery Barn, don't you?" Ashlyn raises an eyebrow, and Ali opens her mouth in protest.

"What? No! I mean, would that be an added benefit? Sure. Could we also get the monogrammed Christmas stocking, to be extra prepared? I mean, yeah we could! But I can't believe you're questioning my motives. They are pure. Pure!" Ali argues, and Ashlyn laughs.

"Alright, easy there tiger. Let's name the babe, then. What about Violet?" Ashlyn asks, looking over at Ali, who is all of a sudden blushing bright red.

"Uh, I dunno..." Ali stammers, and Ashlyn furrows her brow for a minute before bursting into laughter.

"Oh my god, you totally slept with a Violet!" She manages to get out in between peals of laughter, and Ali only turns a deeper shade of scarlet.

"I can't believe out of all the names, you suggested that one. I've slept with like, three women, tops," Ali grumbles, and Ashlyn laughs again.

"After the shit you gave me, oh that is priceless. Baby, your mom," Ashlyn shakes her head as she taps on Ali's belly. "She sure is one of a kind." 

"Whatever," Ali says as she crosses her arms. "Anyway, Violet is out. And shut up," she says, swatting at her still giggling wife.

Ashlyn obliges, and places a conciliatory kiss on Ali's cheek.

"Okay, Princess, talk me through our guidelines. Nothing too popular, nothing with a lot of teasing potential, nothing with a "y" in place of a different vowel, right?" 

"Right. And nothing too close to one of our names, it's already confusing enough that we share an initial."

"Okay," Ashlyn nods thoughtfully, scrunching her face in concentration.

"And I want it to mean something. I don't wanna name her Nora just because we like the name Nora, you know?"

"I do like the name Nora," Ashlyn points out, and Ali groans. They sit quietly for a moment, Ashlyn absent-mindedly rubbing small circles on Ali's belly with her thumb.

"Well," Ashlyn begins slowly, turning to face Ali. "There is one name I've kind of thought about before that could be kinda cool," she says, biting her lip. "I actually thought of it a while ago and forgot," she admits. "But if you like it, I think it'll be pretty perfect."

"What is it?" Ali asks eagerly, and Ashlyn bites her lip again before replying.

"June."

"June," Ali repeats. "Like the month. Like the month of our first date. And when you proposed. And our wedding."

"Yeah, actually that's when I thought it might make a good name for a kid one day, when we got married. Almost all of our big, important memories are from June." Ashlyn explains, trying to gauge Ali's reaction.

"My brother's birthday is in June. And your brother's actually, too," Ali points out, and Ashlyn nods.

"June," Ali repeats again.

"We could call her Junie," Ashlyn offers (and okay, maybe she's thought about the name June more than just a little.) "It's easy to spell, easy to read." She searches Ali's face for any clue as to whether or not she loves or hates the suggestion, but finds nothing. "So...what do you think?"

Ali turns toward Ashlyn, trying to keep a straight face. She sees Ashlyn's worried expression and can't keep up the facade, a brilliant grin overtakes her face.

"I love it. It's meaningful and uncommon and perfect. Little Junie Harris. So sweet," Ali gushes, and Ashlyn lets out a breath of relief as she pulls Ali in for a sweet kiss. 

"Hi, June," Ashlyn says as she bends down to place a kiss on Ali's belly. "Hey! She kicked me!" 

"She must approve, then," Ali says, shifting slightly, hoping to jostle the baby enough so the kicks move away from her bladder. "What about a middle name?"

"I dunno, what do you think? I kinda got the first name, so whatever you want is fine with me," Ashlyn says, not taking her eyes off Ali's belly, which looks like an alien is moving inside of it (she's aware that that's pretty much what is happening, but her baby is much cuter than an alien, thank you very much.)

"Well...what about Margaret?" Ali says nonchalantly, and Ashlyn's head shoots up.

"Like after my grandma?" She asks, and Ali nods.

"She's strong and smart and fierce; she's a total badass, Ash, and she helped make you into the amazing woman you are. I'd be honored to name our daughter after her," Ali says (she's been pretty sure that Margaret would be the middle name no matter what, she's been planning this for a while, was hoping to surprise blindside Ashlyn with it in just this manner. It's worked out well, judging by the dopey grin on Ashlyn's face.)

"Really, Al?" Ashlyn's voice cracks a little, and she laughs at herself. Ali nods.

"Really, really. June Margaret," Ali confirms, and Ashlyn burrows into her neck with a hug.

"Thank you," she breathes as Ali runs her hand through Ashlyn's blonde locks. "I love you." She punctuates the statement with a kiss.

"I love you too," Ali murmurs. "And we love you, June Margaret Harris," she says with a glance down at her belly.

"We sure do," Ashlyn agrees. "I'm gonna call her Junie bug," Ashlyn states, and Ali gives her a sweet smile before reaching for the iPad on her bedside table.

"What're you doing?" Ashlyn asks, and Ali's smile turns into a smirk.

"Monogrammed bedding, remember?" She teases, and Ashlyn groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I obviously took liberties with Ashlyn's grandma's name, but hope you liked it.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	15. Offer

Ali unlocks the door to her apartment, dumps her training bag down, and checks the time. She still has an hour until Ashlyn Skypes her, and she frowns. With the time difference between Frankfurt and Florida, not to mention her own grueling rehab schedule and Ashlyn's propensity to sleep in, the two hadn't been able to talk as often as they would've liked. Ali's physical therapist would always tease she could tell when she'd talked to Ashlyn that day, as the smile would remain on her face even through the toughest workouts.

As happy as she was to be back in Germany, working with some of the best physical therapists, she couldn't help but wish it had made more sense to stay in the States. She'd been spoiled at the beginning of the year; Ashlyn had done her best to visit as often as possible, and once Ali was more mobile after her injury, she returned the favor. They had had weekends alone in Florida, lazy Tuesday afternoons in DC, and they never had to go too long without seeing the other.

But Ali had been back in Germany for a few months, and though they communicated in some form every single day, a text or an email or even a Skype session wasn't the same as having the blonde in her arms, and that was what she missed the most. 

So Ali washes the few dishes piled in her sink, she sends an email to her mom. She checks the time again. Twenty more minutes. She turns on the TV and watches an episode of Scrubs dubbed in German, and before she knows it, her computer is beeping at her.

She jumps up so quickly she nearly falls over, but she makes it to the desk in record time anyway, and presses Accept.

"Hey babe!" Ali calls cheerfully as Ashlyn's face appears on the screen in front of her. "How was your workout?"

Ashlyn just groans in response, burying her head in my arms.

"I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die," she responds dramatically, and Ali rolls her eyes.

"Aw, poor baby," she teases. "Don't die. I miss you!"

"I miss you too, pretty girl. A lot. How're things over there in the old country?"

"Germany's good. It was nice to have a day off today, a few of us went shopping."

"Of course you did," Ashlyn grins. "Where are all the bags?" She looks exaggeratedly around through the screen, and Ali laughs.

"Only one bag! I did so well, you would've been proud," she replies with sass, pulling said bag from behind her back. "But look!"

Ali spends about five minutes showing off her purchases to Ashlyn, who like a good girlfriend, makes all the right sounds of appreciation and agreement, while secretly playing Tetris on her phone.

"And how's the knee?" Ashlyn asks when Ali goes quiet, and Ali gives her a glum smile.

"I mean. It's okay. My PT keeps telling me how well I'm doing and how I'll be back in no time, but it just still feels so far away, you know?"

"I know, babe. It sucks, but every day you get a little closer. One day at a time, right?" She responds, giving Ali an encouraging smile.

"I'm not an addict," Ali mumbles with a glare, and Ashlyn raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, that so? I'm sure I can think of a few things you're addicted to," she teases, and Ali can't help but laugh. She quickly recovers and sends a fake glare through the screen.

"Like what?" She asks haughtily. "I'm not the one who spends the entirety of Shark Week in shark footie pajamas eating salmon for dinner every night."

"Um excuse me, you said I looked adorable in those pajamas," Ashlyn says indignantly, and Ali rolls her eyes.

"Well you do, but that's hardly the point, Ash," Ali explains, and Ashlyn gives her a dimpled grin.

"Oh, I think that's always the point," she retorts, wiggling her eyebrows. Ali rolls her eyes once more, but a smile plays on her lips. She looks wistfully through the screen at her girlfriend, wanting nothing more than to be able to reach out and touch her.

"I miss you so much," she breathes, and damnit, she's usually able to keep it together better than this, but she can feel the tears threaten behind her eyes.

"Oh, Al," Ashlyn says softly. "I miss you so much it hurts," she admits. "But it's not forever, okay? I promise."

"I know," Ali says, sniffling. "But it's just so unfair. My ACL, my MCL, and my girlfriend? Can't a girl have anything?" She jokes wetly, and Ashlyn laughs.

"I just hate not getting to see you. But we're still on for November, right?" She says hopefully, but her expression drops when she sees Ashlyn frown.

"Actually, Al, I wanted to talk to you about that," Ashlyn begins, and Ali feels the tears come back full force.

"What? Why can't you come?" Ali demands, and Ashlyn sighs.

"I'm sorry, I think it's just gonna be really tricky that weekend, since I'll probably have a game," Ashlyn says, shrugging her shoulders apologetically. Ali opens her mouth to argue, but then closes it again when Ashlyn's words reach her.

"A game? What do you mean?" She asks, and Ashlyn gives her a nonchalant look. 

"Well my new team will have a game, probably. I mean it's still in season," she responds, and Ali eyes her suspiciously. 

"What new team?" She demands again, and Ashlyn tries and fails to keep the smirk off her face.

"Oh, didn't I mention? Looks like I'll be playing for some team...Duisburg? Now I wanna say that's in France, or England..." She trails off as Ali squeals quite possible the loudest squeal in the history of the world. 

"Oh my god!" She practically screams, and Ashlyn laughs at her through the computer. "Are you fucking kidding me? Ash, are you come here? To Germany? Oh my god!" She's crying again, but happy tears this time, and Ashlyn nods.

"Yep. I mean I haven't signed the paperwork yet but they sent their official offer over this morning and I'm gonna take it. How could I not? It'll be a great experience and I'll get to be so much closer to you. I can't wait," she says with a bright smile.

It takes Ali a solid five minutes to stop asking Ashlyn if she's kidding ("because it's really not funny if you are, Ashlyn Harris. I will kill you if you are!") but once she is fully convinced that Ashlyn will in fact be coming to Germany, that they'll be able to see each other on weekends and be in the same freaking time zone, she sits back, content, feeling like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

"I can't believe it. I'm so happy. I love you," she says, still in awe. 

"Well, believe it. And I'm happy too. And I like you, a little," she teases, and Ali gives her a blinding grin. 

"You're coming to Germany," she states.

"I'm coming to Germany," Ashlyn confirms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think!


	16. Proposal

"Okay. Okay. How do I look?" Ashlyn comes out of the bathroom and straightens her tie as she takes a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves.

"You look perfect, Ash," Whitney says, looking up from the magazine she's flipping through. 

"Really, really good," Alex agrees from her reclined position on the bed. "Ali's gonna eat you up," she gushes, while all three other women in the room crinkle their noses in disgust. "Oh, you perverts! You know what I meant," Alex reprimands, rolling her eyes, while Tobin and Ashlyn laugh.

"You nervous?" Tobin asks needlessly, surveying Ashlyn's fidgety hands continuing to fix her tie.

"Oh just a little bit," Ashlyn gets out with a strangled laugh. 

"Okay, pow-wow," Whitney says, gesturing to the bed she's on (it's Ali and Ashlyn's; the team had a game in Orlando the day before and a few of the girls stayed over for the weekend.) Ashlyn dutifully marches over, and Tobin and Alex turn so the four make a kind of circle. 

"It's okay to be nervous, Ash, but you can't seriously be worried about her answer, can you?" Whitney asks, grabbing Ashlyn's hand.

"Well, no...I mean, I don't think so," Ashlyn replies. "I'm pretty sure she's gonna say yes. She's gonna say yes, right?" She asks with a flash of worry in her eyes.

Alex reaches across the bed.

"She's gonna say yes, Ash. She loves you, and you guys are annoyingly perfect together," she says with sincerity, and Ashlyn can't help but smile.

"Yeah dude, I mean, she's seen you in your shark footie pajamas. She's seen you drunk doing karaoke to Cher. She's seen you in your super depressing post-surgery emo phase. I'm pretty sure she's in it for the long haul, you know?" Tobin adds, and Ashlyn furrows her brows.

"Nice back-handed reassurance there, Tobs," she mutters, and Tobin laughs.

"Anytime, pal. Now go get your girl," she says, motioning to the door. Ashlyn nods once, shooting a grateful grin at her friends, and grabs her phone and wallet as she heads out. Her three teammates are in the process of exchanging gleeful gossip as to how they see the night going when Ashlyn marches right back into the room, and without a word opens the dresser drawer, yanks out the ring box, holds it up triumphantly, and pivots back out of the room.

 

"Damn, Kriegs, lookin' good," Kelley whistles, and Ali gives her a small smile as she turns away from the mirror. She's been getting ready in the guest room because Ashlyn had been hogging the master (people always think Ali's the diva, but if they only knew how long it took Ashlyn to get ready...) and she'd dragged Kelley along to entertain her with her How to Get Away with Murder theories. Normally they'd all go out, the whole group, but all of their house guests had begged off, claiming early flights and late lunches and various other excuses. Ash had made a reservation though, so they'd implored their hosts not to waste it.

"It's not too much?" She asks, gesturing down to her flowing black dress, and Kelley shakes her head.

"No, you look gorgeous," Kelley replies. "Ashlyn'll love it."

"She better, she wouldn't tell me where we were going," Ali grumbles, and Kelley laughs at her roommate.

"Yeah, well, you know how she likes surprises," Kelley says fondly as she slides past Ali to grab her lotion.

"Hey, Kel?" Ali sounds nervous, and she's biting her lip. Kelley gives her a weird look.

"Yeah?"

"Um, so...I don't wanna sound like a crazy person but I kinda have this idea that maybe something is gonna happen tonight but I don't want to say it because I don't want to like, expect it, and then have it not happen because I think I might be bummed if it doesn't, but I have no reason to think it will...I just kind of think it will! And I hope it will! But what if it doesn't?" The words tumble out of her and leave her breathless, a worried look on her face as she nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Luckily, Kelley's able to follow Ali's train of thought, and even without Ali saying what she hopes will happen, Kelley knows. And she's not quite sure what to say - how to reassure Ali while keeping Ashlyn's secret, so she takes a minute (Ali gnaws on her lip anxiously.) Then she smiles, and steps forward. She wraps Ali in a tight hug.

"Is that waterproof mascara?" Kelley asks, releasing Ali.

"Yeah," Ali replies slowly, unsure why Kelley's asking. Kelley just looks at her and gives her a knowing grin.

"Good," she says, the word sounding significant, and she looks at Ali with a little twinkle in her eye. Ali meets her gaze, and when she sees the excitement and love and maybe even pride in Kelley's eyes, she releases a deep breath before giving her friend a dazzling smile.

"Okay. Thanks, Kel," she says, eyes shining bright as she gives herself a once over before heading down to meet Ashlyn, the best kind of butterflies inhabiting her stomach.

 

It's funny though, because two hours later, as she's sitting on the patio of a beachside restaurant, holding Ashlyn's hand, she realizes the butterflies have gone. She feels perfectly, strangely calm, even though she's still waiting for Ashlyn to make her move.

Ashlyn, on the other hand, is anything but calm. Even as she's replaying her friends' words in her head, even as she looks across the table and is met with her girlfriend's beautiful smile, her heart is racing and the box in her pocket feels obscenely obvious.

She's trying to get through it, though, and tries to concentrate on the complete endearment in Ali's eyes, the way she squeezes her hand across the table and gives her a patented nose-crinkling grin.

She's made it through dinner, and through dessert (she'd ordered four different things because Ali commented on how good everything looked), and finally it was time. She takes a deep breath and stands.

"Walk with me?" She asks, gesturing to the beach in front of them and Ali takes her hand easily. Before they get very far, Ali tugs Ashlyn back and leans up to give her a sweet kiss.

"I love you," she murmurs into Ashlyn's ear, and just like that, Ashlyn's nerves fade away. She knows, without a doubt, that what she's about to do is going to be the best, easiest choice she's ever made. So she just gives Ali a dimpled grin, and pulls her close as they walk closer toward the waves.

They walk in comfortable silence for a few minutes, when Ashlyn stops them. They let the warm water lap at their toes (Ashlyn had insisted they go barefoot, and was currently carrying both pairs of their shoes), and Ali rests her head on Ashlyn's shoulder. They're both looking ahead, watching the very last of the sun dip into the ocean, when Ashlyn speaks.

"You're the most beautiful woman in the world, you know?" She says it so matter of factly, and it's not the first or even the hundredth time she's said that, but Ali blushes regardless.

"You are," Ashlyn continues, "but that's not why I love you. I mean, it doesn't hurt," she teases, and Ali pokes her side. "But I love you because of your insides. Your warmth, your kindness. Your selflessness. The way you always look out for everyone. Your brain, the way you school me in Jeopardy every night. Your determination, your grit. Your strength. You're the strongest person I've ever known, Al, and you don't even realize it. I love how competitive you are. How you always strive to be the best, but not just for yourself -- for everyone. You are remarkable, Alex Krieger," she says, her voice soft but strong. She finally turns to face Ali, and in one fluid motion is on her knee, Ali's hand warm in hers. Before she can even say anything more, Ali sinks down onto her knees as well, eyes dangerously bright, so excited, so hopeful, so incredulous.

"You are my future. I love you. I can't wait for our life together, I can't wait for a lifetime of adventures with you, there's no one else I'd rather have by my side. So what do ya say, Al? Will you marry me?" She asks, biting her lip in anticipation. Ali lets out a laugh that's really more of a sob (and damn, Kelley was right, it's good she's wearing waterproof mascara.)

"Wait," she says through her tears, and she feels Ashlyn tense. "I mean, yes! Yes of course Ashlyn, god, I love you so much," she's flustered, she wipes the tears from her cheeks. "Yes, I'll marry you, but I wanna say something, okay?" She implores, and Ashlyn gives her an inquisitive look but nods.

"It's just not very fair that you got to say all those lovely things to me, and I don't get to do the same," she explains. "Ashlyn, you are the best thing that I was never expecting. You keep me on my toes, you challenge me every day. You never fail to surprise me, to spoil me, to make me feel loved and happy. Your passion is astounding, and infectious. You make me a better version of myself. You never settle for anything. You're so generous, with your time and your talent and your heart. I'm so, so lucky," she says, the words coming in spurts through tears, "to have you, and to get to love you. And I will marry you, good god I'd marry you tomorrow, and I will spend every day of our lives trying to love you as well as you deserve." 

By the time Ali finishes, they're both crying, and then they're both laughing, and they're still on their knees in the sand, and Ashlyn finally slips the ring on Ali's finger, and Ali grabs her by the collar to pull her in for a heated kiss.

When they eventually part, Ashlyn sits and pulls Ali into her lap. 

"We're engaged," she whispers, and she can practically feel Ali's smile.

"We're engaged," Ali repeats. "That was a damn good proposal, Harris," she says, squeezing Ashlyn's arm. 

"I could say the same," Ashlyn says, "considering how you tried to steal my thunder," she fake grumbles, and Ali swats at her.

"I didn't have a ring," she points out. "You had a ring."

"Good point," Ashlyn considers. "I win."

"Um, pretty sure I'm the winner tonight," Ali says, holding up her left hand. 

"Well I'm get to marry you, babe, so pretty sure I'm the ultimate winner," Ashlyn says! voice thick with charm, and even as Ali's rolling her eyes, she's blushing. 

"You gonna be saying that when we're trying to pick centerpieces, or bridesmaid dresses or appetizers?" Ali teases, and Ashlyn groans.

"Easy, bridezilla," she says affectionately. "That can all wait for tomorrow. Tonight, let's just celebrate," she raises an eyebrow. "If you catch my drift."

"Hm, maybe you should tell me more about that," Ali says with a grin.

Ashlyn opts for show rather than tell.

Ali doesn't mind.

(Their house guests don't either, as they'd wisely moved to a hotel once Ali and Ashlyn had departed.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you all are still enjoying these.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who comments, it's very helpful and encouraging!


	17. Queasy

"Babe?" Ali's car is in the driveway, and her phone is on the counter, so Ashlyn's pretty sure her wife is at home, but there's no sign of Ali anywhere. She checks the kitchen, the office, the living room, and even the backyard (Ali's slightly obsessed with her fledgling vegetable garden at the moment) before trudging upstairs.

"Al? Babe, you here?" Ashlyn calls again, pushing open the door to their bedroom. The covers are askew but Ali's not in bed. The light from the bathroom, however, is on, so Ashlyn makes her way over.

"Well hi there," she says, unfortunately unsurprised to see her wife slumped down next to the toilet. Ali looks up with a glare.

"I don't know why the hell they call it morning sickness when apparently it's all-fucking-day sickness," Ali seethes. "I haven't made it out of here for two hours!"

"Aw, babe," Ashlyn is torn between genuinely feeling terrible for her wife, and wanting to laugh at what a hot mess she is currently (it looks like there's a Cheerio in her hair, and the pathetic pout on her face is pretty adorable). She squats down next to Ali, places a kiss on her forehead.

"Isn't pregnancy supposed to be magical? Because this is not magical. I've thrown up like nine times today, Ash! This is bullshit!" 

"It is," Ashlyn agrees. "I'm so sorry, baby. I know it's not fair and I know it must suck. But the doctor said it should clear up when you're in your second trimester, and that's only a week away," she points out, trying to raise Ali's spirits.

Instead, Ali just glares at her again. "Great. I'm so excited to spend the next seven days puking my guts out while simultaneously worrying that the baby isn't getting enough nutrients and that I'm permanently damaging our child with my inability to keep anything down." She's trying to sound sarcastic, but Ashlyn can hear the actual worry and exhaustion in her wife's voice, so she pulls Ali into her lap.

"Our kid's gonna be just fine, okay? Remember when Cheney was pregnant and she could only eat Egg McMuffins for the first few months? And Olivia turned out just fine, right?"

"I guess," Ali grumbles begrudgingly. "I'm just so sick of being sick, Ash," she whines. "I want to enjoy pregnancy and be excited and happy about this little thing growing inside me, but I just feel like shit all the time. I mean, this is my home now," she says, gesturing around them. "I live in the bathroom!"

This time Ashlyn has to chuckle. "And a lovely home it is," she says jokingly, and she can almost feel Ali roll her eyes against her chest.

"When was the last time you were sick?" 

"Like half hour ago," Ali mumbles.

"Do you feel like you're gonna be sick again?"

"I mean not right now, but I never know when it's gonna hit again," she groans. "Ashlyn, I hate this so much," she admits. "I don't wanna hate our baby! I'm like the world's worst mother if I hate our baby before it's even, like, a person!"

Ashlyn is glad Ali can't see the look on her face at the moment. She'd been warned by her friends that the hormones combined with Ali's extreme morning sickness wouldn't be great for Ali's mood or her own sanity, and she was starting to see that they were right. When she'd called Alex yesterday after Ali had thrown up, yelled at her, and thrown up again due to the pickles on her sandwich that Ashlyn hadn't known would be a problem (Ali loved pickles, and weren't pickles like a pregnancy thing?), Alex had just laughed sympathetically. 

"Yeah, I wasn't as sick as Ali but I still wanted to murder Serv like, multiple times a day," she had admitted. "And even after the morning sickness goes away, you're not gonna be in the clear. She's gonna be emotional and she's gonna feel fat, and she's gonna pee when she sneezes, and the heartburn...man, you really lucked out that she actually wanted to do it. Pregnancy kinda sucks," Alex had said, and Ashlyn sighed.

"Well that's super helpful, Alex."

"Sorry, Ash. But I mean, the good news is, it doesn't last forever. In, what, six months? You'll have a baby, and it'll be the best thing in the world," and Ashlyn had heard the truth in that statement, and had been forced to smile.

"And hey, if Ali ever needs to vent, have her call me, okay? I've been there, I can commiserate. And if nothing else, she can listen to Luca say "hi", which, FYI is like the cutest thing in the entire world, and if that doesn't make her feel better, then you've married a monster." 

So Ashlyn takes a deep breath, remembers what Alex had said. "Honey," she says softly, running a hand through Ali's hair. "It's okay to be miserable. It doesn't make you a terrible person or a terrible mother. Alex, you're growing a human inside of you! That's so brave and awesome, and I know it must suck to feel so shitty, and I wish you didn't, but just think about how awesome it's gonna be when she's here, okay?"

"She?" Ali asks, wiping a stray tear from her cheek as she looks up at her wife. "We won't know for another two months, Ash."

"Oh, that's a little girl in there. A tiny little Ali Krieger junior," Ashlyn says confidently. "She's gonna have your beautiful eyes and your perfect nose, and she's gonna be giving it to us good with the sass, just you wait. She's gonna be perfect, just like her mama."

Ali rolls her eyes but can't help the genuine smile that blooms on her face.

"Stop it," she says, burrowing back into Ashlyn's chest. "Stop being so nice and supportive and good when I'm such a cranky disaster."

"You might be a cranky disaster," Ashlyn acknowledges, "but you've got something pretty amazing in there," she says, rubbing her hand on Ali's almost invisible bump. "Take it easy on your mom, okay kiddo?" She pulls Ali off her lap, stands, and then reaches a hand down to pull Ali up.

"Let's get outta here. We'll get you all set up in bed, you pick the movie, and if anything at all sounds good to eat, I'll get it for you, okay? And if not, we can snuggle and I'll hold your precious hair back for you if you get sick. Deal?"

"Deal," Ali mutters with a wry smile. "Thank you for being the best. I'd give you a kiss right now, but I've puked multiple times today and haven't brushed my teeth because our toothpaste makes me gag."

"Noted," Ashlyn says with a laugh. "I'll run out and get a different kind later, okay?"

When she does, Ali texts her when she's almost home and says that an Oreo blizzard from Dairy Queen actually sounds delicious. Ashlyn drives 20 minutes to the nearest Dairy Queen without a second thought. Fifteen minutes after guzzling it down, Ali rushes to the bathroom, Ashlyn trailing dutifully. Ali vomits, yells at Ashlyn for bringing her the damn blizzard in the first place, vomits again, apologizes for yelling, and then passes out (her teeth never get brushed.)

Ashlyn watches all of this unfold with a mixture of amusement and horror, and once Ali does fall asleep, she has a very serious conversation with her daughter in which (and she will never ever admit this) the words "cut the shit and give your poor mom a break! Don't be an asshole" are said.

It works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still reading these!


	18. Reconciliation

She's nervous. She's super, super fucking nervous. She's rehearsed her words hundreds of times, gone back and forth over exactly when to make her move, she'd clued HAO into her plan to make sure it was solid. But that stuff was easy; that was small potatoes compared to actually asking Ashlyn if they could talk, pouring out her heart, and waiting in metaphorical agony until Ashlyn responded -- possibly negatively. 

That was where the nerves came in. Because if the last four miserable months had taught Ali Krieger anything, it's that her life without Ashlyn in it is basically the worst. And if Ashlyn turns her down, she's not quite sure what she'll do. Because she's pretty sure that Ashlyn is the love of her life. 

She's trying to stay optimistic, hoping desperately that Ashlyn will at least give her a chance to explain, a chance to apologize and beg for forgiveness, a chance to tell her how very in love she is, even still. HAO had reassured her that, no matter their history, Ashlyn wasn't a monster, and she'd of course hear Ali out. But that was all Heather could guarantee. 

"But I mean, what do you think she's going to say?" Ali had asked anxiously, biting her lower lip.

"Well, I don't know. Have you guys still been texting a little bit?" They had, here and there. Nothing substantial, nothing with any real emotion, other than those first few texts. Ali nodded.

"Yeah. But are you sure that girl is just a friend? The one in all those pictures?" 

"As far as I know, she's just a friend."

"But what if she's not?" That was the niggling thought that pushed to the front of her mind almost constantly.

"Well, then that would suck, Al, and I'd be really sorry, but there's not much you could do. Look, sweetie," Heather had said, pulling Ali in for a hug. "All you can do is tell Ashlyn how you feel. The rest, unfortunately, isn't up to you. But, hey. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, okay? And if it's not, it's not, and the world will keep spinning and you'll find the right person, I promise."

Ali had squeezed her lovely, sweet, supportive friend, so grateful for her honesty and her optimism. But she had known then, just as she does now, that the right person is unquestionably Ashlyn, and no matter the past few months and the obstacles to come, it is meant to be. And all she can do, really, like Heather says, is give voice to her feelings, and hope Ashlyn feels them too.

So she's sitting in the hotel lobby, book in hand, rereading the same page over and over. Ashlyn had been out when she'd gotten in, and she wanted -- needed -- to do this as soon as possible. So when Ashlyn finally strolls through with Hope, Ali takes a deep breath, and stands quickly before she can stop herself.

"Ash," she says, seeing the surprise flicker in the blonde's eyes as she walks forward. "Can we talk? Please?" She works hard to keep her voice level. She watches as Ashlyn exchanges a glance with Hope, and then nods.

"Sure," she says, swallowing. "Let's go for a walk."

 

When Ashlyn had arrived at camp, she'd been relieved to find Ali hadn't gotten in yet. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her -- god, she wanted that morning than anything -- it wasn't that she didn't know if she could bear to. If she could see that perfect, gorgeous, stubborn as hell woman (who she was most assuredly still in love with) without being able to call her her own.

She'd been at the Starbucks down the street, spacing out and stewing in her own thoughts, when Hope had startled her by pulling up a chair.

"What's up with you, Harris? Your leg is moving a hundred miles an hour." Ashlyn glanced down, her leg was in fact bouncing up and down like crazy.

"Oh, just a little nervous, I guess," Ashlyn had stuttered. It's not that she was afraid of Hope, or that she disliked her -- she liked her a lot, actually, and respected her more. But Hope was all business; Ashlyn doubted she'd want to hear about Ashlyn's annoying emotional turmoil.

"Well don't be, you'll be great. I think Pia is really -" Hope begins before stopping herself as a knowing look crosses her face. "Oh. I'm gonna just assume that's not why you're nervous."

"Yeah," Ashlyn had replied guiltily. "But don't worry, I won't let it affect camp or training or anything," she had added quickly, and Hope had laughed.

"God, is my reputation really that bad? First of all, I know you won't, you're a professional. I'm not concerned about that."

"Oh. Sorry. But yeah, not nervous about soccer."

"Well do you wanna talk about it?" And Hope sounded so sincere, and honestly, Ashlyn did wanna talk about it -- as much as she loved Whitney, she was a little tired of the constant 'everything will be okay' refrain. So she nodded.

"It's just...we broke up. Months ago, you know, and it was kind of stupid and super shitty. And I'm not," Ashlyn gesticulates, loathe to admit it out loud.

"Over her?" Hope supplies, and Ashlyn nods wearily.

"And it kind of seems like she's not..."

"Over you?"

"Well yeah, and I mean, I dunno if it would be a big mistake, or if we were right and we should just leave it, or if it's just too hard...do you know what I mean?"

Hope gives her a bemused look. "I mean, no, but yes. Look, I know I'm kind of a terrible person to give relationship advice," she says, raising an eyebrow. "But, if you love her, I don't think it's ever a mistake to give it another shot. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right. So if you wanna be with her, tell her. See what happens. That's all you can do."

"We didn't exactly part of the best of terms," Ashlyn admitted. "What if she still hates me?"

"Haven't you guys been texting a little?" Ashlyn furrows her brow. "Kelley told me. But look, I doubt she ever hated you. You guys had a fight. A bad one. But nothing that time and apologies and promises to do better can't fix."

"You should like, go into couples counseling or something," Ashlyn mutters, still processing Hope's words.

"Yeah, well, those who can't do, teach, or whatever," Hope says ruefully. "You ready to head back? I'll walk with ya."

Which is how Ashlyn eventually finds herself walking silently next to the one and only Ali Krieger.

She can tell Ali's nervous, and somehow that calms her a little. The silence is killing her. She opens her mouth just as Ali stops.

"I'm sorry," Ali blurts. "I'm sorry for everything. I was such a bitch and I was heartless and selfish and unappreciative and I wish I could take back all those shitty things I said, but I can't, but I miss you every day, Ash, every single day. And I don't even know how you feel about things -- like, are you dating that girl?" Ali blushes, knowing she's rambling, but continues, unable to stop the stream of words. "I'm sorry, it's not my business, but I just...I hope you aren't. And I'm sorry, I know I keep saying that, but I really am. I hate the way we ended things, that we ended things at all, really. And I - I love you. A lot. And I'm really sorry," she ends, her volume trailing off do she ends in barely a whisper. She can feel a hot rush of tears pool behind her eyes, and her heart is beating in overtime.

"Are you done?" Ashlyn asks, and Ali's feels her heart sink until she manages to look up and see the grin tugging at Ashlyn's lips. She nods, unsure what Ashlyn will say.

"I forgot how cute you are when you ramble. I know we have a lot of stuff to talk about, and we will," she says seriously, "but would you go to dinner with me? Tonight?"

"Are you...are you asking me on a date?" Ali says, both doubtful and incredulous.

"I am," Ashlyn confirms. Ali looks at her like she's insane, and Ashlyn just smiles serenely at her. "So will you?"

"Um, well, well yeah," Ali stutters.

"Good. And I'm not, by the way. Dating that girl," Ashlyn says, and then turns and continues to walk. Ali follows after a minute, still not quite sure what's just happened. But then Ashlyn reaches a hand out, snags Ali's in her own. Ali almost sags in relief. 

"Al?" Ali looks up hopefully, meets Ashlyn's bright eyes.

"I'm sorry, too. I'm so, so, incredibly sorry. And I love you, too. I never stopped."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the feedback on the last chapter! Really appreciate all your comments and thoughts.


	19. Soooo....

Ashlyn groans under her breath when she sees Ali get up from her seat and follow Hope out of the room, talking animatedly as Hope nods.

"What's the matter with you?" Pinoe asks, mouth full of pasta, and Ashlyn looks up guiltily.

"Nothing," she mutters. "I've just been trying to talk to Ali all day, and I seem to keep missing my opportunity."

"Ah," Megan's eyes widen in understanding. "You've finally grown some lady balls," she states knowingly. "Took you long enough. I mean, you're totally smitten with her and anyone with eyes can see that she's into you, too," she slips in casually and giggles as Ashlyn's eyes twitch up ever so slightly.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Megan laughs. "So you've decided to stop being lame? I swear, if you weren't being so weirdly shy and awkward, you two would totally be doing already. Probably like nonstop, you know how it goes in the beginning. You totally could've desecrated the hotel gym already. And for sure the ice machine alcove. And probably the hot tub, too, buddy." She gives Ashlyn a sympathetic look. "You've really been missing out."

Ashlyn just rolls her eyes. "You're insane."

"You love me," Pinoe teases, and Ashlyn just throws a roll at her. 

"I'll love you even more if you can convince everyone to come out tonight," Ashlyn says, and Megan scoffs.

"Are you kidding? I'm the puppet master. Don't worry, I'll make sure Ali comes out," Pinoe says, and then delighted by her own unintentional double-entendre, doubles over in laughter.

Ashlyn throws another roll at her before walking away.

 

But, Pinoe apparently is a puppet master (not that Ashlyn would ever admit it to her) because when Ashlyn and Whitney make it down to the lobby two hours later (a full one hundred and twenty minutes during which Ashlyn had stressed about her outfit, what to say exactly to Ali, and her outfit again), a surprisingly large group of their teammates is waiting. Megan and A-Rod had found a club nearby that was supposed to be great for dancing, and though they were in camp and limited to one, maaaybe two drinks, they were all down to have a good time and let loose a little.

Ashlyn scans the crowd, nervously adjusting her watch. She'd decided on a grey button up, black leather skinny jeans, and her black boots, and she'd left her hair down (Whitney had insisted, after critically studying both the bun and hair down looks.) She doesn't see Ali, and just when she's about to stalk over and berate one Megan Rapinoe, Whitney nudges her.

"Look alive," Whit mutters, and Ashlyn follows her gaze. And then her jaw drops, at least metaphorically. Ali's wearing a tight, form-fitting black dress that hits right above her knees, and is somehow incredibly sexy and perfectly simply casual at the same time. Ali reaches them just as the group heads outside to grab taxis, so Ashlyn steps back a minute, urging Whitney on. HAO gives her a smirk but jets past as well, leaving Ali and Ashlyn to fall into step together.

"You look beautiful, Alex," Ashlyn says genuinely, heart beating quickly. She notices a slight blush creep up Ali's cheek.

"Thanks," Ali turns to give her a shy smile. "And you look really good too," she says, the blush moving upward a little. Ashlyn also notices the way Ali bites her lip, the way her eyes are dark when they meet her own. And suddenly, all the nerves simmering in her stomach turn into something different, excitement and affection and anticipation all rolled into one. One look at Ali's sweet smile, and all the doubts she'd voiced to Whitney as she'd tried on every outfit she packed, dissipated. She'd been planning to make her move, so to speak, tonight, and now she was completely sure of it. 

So she does the only sensible thing, and grabs Ali's hand gently, interlacing their fingers. Ali's step stutters a tiny bit, but she maintains her composure and allows Ashlyn to lead them out to the taxi.

 

The next three hours are full of something potent in the air. They're playing a game, toeing a line, seeing just how far they can push. Ali will lean in dangerously close to Ashlyn to whisper something funny about the clueless guy in the corner, and her breath tickles Ashlyn's cheek, her perfume enveloping Ashlyn. And then Ashlyn will place a hand on Ali's lower back to lead them to the bar, but once said destination is reached, the hand remains, her thumb drawing slight circles on the small of Ali's back.

It's exhilarating, this new, unspoken knowledge shared between them. That this is all building up to something, that the feelings they have are mutual, and this is the start of something new.

Every other teammate at the bar is watching the two with interest, and when Ali drags Ashlyn onto the dance floor, Pinoe and Alex start whispering animatedly, pointing and gesticulating (Ashlyn sees them in her peripheral vision and quickly turns Ali away), Hope rolling her eyes next to them.

They're facing each other, and Ali is grinding into Ashlyn slightly, still a little cautious but definitely working on throwing that caution to the wind. Ashlyn lets her hands move up and down Ali's sides, fighting the impulse to draw Ali closer. But it's too hard, when Ali's moving like she is and looking at Ashlyn with dark, hungry eyes. So Ashlyn takes a breath to steady herself, and then pulls Ali in.

"Wanna go for a walk?" She asks, her mouth right on the shell of Ali's ear. She feels Ali nod, and then reaches down to grab her hand and lead her outside. The hotel's not far, less than a mile, but they walk in silence for a full block, hands still entertwined as Ashlyn tries to figure out where exactly to start. Finally, it's Ali who can't take it anymore.

"Soooo," she exhales, and turns to face Ashlyn, who's looking down at her with something that looks like anticipation. "I like you," she blurts, somehow keeping her voice calm and even. "I like you, Ashlyn," And she only has a second to look for Ashlyn's reaction because then Ashlyn is bringing a hand to her neck and gently leaning down to capture Ali's mouth.

It's a soft kiss, at first. But then Ali sighs into it and Ashlyn grabs Ali's ass to pull her in a closer, and soon enough, they're in the midst of a full blown make out session in the middle of the sidewalk. 

When Ali's teeth nip at Ashlyn's bottom lip, Ashlyn pulls away breathlessly, and starts to laugh.

"What?" Ali asks, cheeks flushed, lips swollen.

"I just can't believe you just said that," Ashlyn says, still chuckling to herself. Ali feels the heat rise in her cheeks.

"Well, someone had to!" She defends herself, feeling very vulnerable having just confessed her feelings and now standing here with Ashlyn laughing at her. Immediately Ashlyn notices the shift, and she stops.

"Oh, hey, Alex," she says softly, pulling the other woman in once again. "I like you, a lot. A lot a lot, actually. I just can't believe you beat me to it. You're full of surprises," she murmurs, placing a chaste kiss on Ali's forehead that only intensifies Ali's blush.

"Good surprises?" Ali asks, muffled by Ashlyn's chest.

"Very," Ashlyn replies, leaning down to Ali's mouth once more. Weeks of tension and feelings are unleashed into their kiss, and when Ali pulls away this time, the hungry look in Ashlyn's eyes make her knees weak.

"Wanna see what other surprises I have up my sleeve?" Ali asks in a sultry voice, emboldened and fueled by the look Ashlyn's giving her (and the kissing, of course, as well), and Ashlyn can only nod and swallow hard.

"Yes, I'm very interested in those," Ash finally squeaks.

(They do manage to make it back to the hotel, and into the room Ali's sharing with Becky, who knows enough to shack up with Heather and Cheney for the night. They don't, however, manage to make it to the bed. At least for the first few rounds.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear any thoughts.


	20. Tipsy

"Ashlyn! I swear to god, get back in your seat," Ali's voice sounds firm, but in reality she's trying excessively hard not to laugh.

"What, you don't think this is sexy?" Ashlyn asks, clumsily kissing Ali on the neck while wedged into the center console of the car. "Ouch, the gear shift," she says, pouting as she looks down to try and situate herself better.

"Honestly, no, babe, because I'm trying to drive home without killing us and you're trying to climb into my lap," Ali says, swatting at Ashlyn's hand which is now creeping between her legs. "Ash! Get in your damn seat!" 

Ashlyn keeps the pout on her face as she (not very gracefully) slides back into the passenger seat.

"And seat belt," Ali adds, and Ashlyn huffs but listens.

"You're no fun," she mumbles, crossing her arms, and Ali just scoffs.

"I'm plenty of fun, babe. I'm just more fun when I'm alive. As are you," she says pointedly. "We'll be home in five minutes, okay?"

"Fine," Ashlyn huffs again. She sits in her own seat for approximately thirty seconds before she's making her move back toward the middle of the car.

"Hey baby," she whispers in an attempt to be sultry. She reaches her hand over to tangle it in Ali's hair.

"Oh my god, Ashlyn," Ali says incredulously. "Did you really drink that much? Good lord!"

They'd spent the night out at a bar in Georgetown with Niki and her girlfriend who were in town for a few days. Ali had volunteered to be designated driver; not only did she have an interview in the morning, but she also knew how Ashlyn and Niki got when they were together, and she knew how much her girlfriend had been missing her bestie.

True to form, Ashlyn and Niki had gone toe to toe with drinks, while Ali and Molly had watched the two with amusement as they had arm-wrestled, challenged a group of frat boys at pool (losing several times in a row), taken many shots and even more selfies, and then had had a completely over-the-top, straight-out-of-a-movie farewell in front of the bar (while at the same time, making brunch plans for the next day.)

And now they were driving back home, and Ashlyn was clearly still feeling the effects of the whiskey ("look, we're classy as fuck!" Ashlyn had proclaimed when she and Niki had first returned from the bar with Whiskey sours.) Ali has to admit, even though Ashlyn is currently trying to commit murder-suicide by distracting her, she's also pretty damn endearing.

"Baaabe," she whines, as Ali stiff arms her off the gear stick. "It's not my fault you're so sexy. That's on you, Al, that's on you." Ali laughs and blows her a kiss. Ashlyn takes this for tacit consent, and this time does away with any subtlety and just goes for it, shoving her hand down Ali's pants, which is always something that elicits a positive response. Except for now.

"Oh my God!" Ali screeches, "Ashlyn Harris, I love you, but keep your hands to yourself and get in your fucking seat!"

The sheer pitch and volume of Ali's voice must startle Ashlyn enough, because she actually does as asked. She sulks in the corner of the passenger seat for the remaining two minutes of the drive.

Ali, however, is having an internal panic attack, replaying her words over and over. Of all the ways she thought she'd tell Ashlyn she loves her, this was not a scenario that had come up. Of course, she tells herself, she does love Ashlyn, and she has been wanting to say it, to let Ashlyn know, to hopefully hear it back. But her girlfriend is shitfaced, clearly has not processed what Ali has said, and probably won't remember it. Which is kind of a blessing, Ali supposes, because she's really not thrilled to have just professed love for a woman while simultaneously yelling at her to get her hand out of her pants and banishing said woman to the other side of a moving vehicle.

Ashlyn doesn't say anything until they get back to the apartment that technically belongs to Ali but in actuality is home for both. And when she does speak, it's to ask Ali if she has any ice cream (her grumpiness has apparently abated without much thought.)

"Sorry, no, but I'll run out and get some tomorrow morning after my interview, okay?"

"Okay," Ashlyn agrees happily, wrapping her arms around Ali for a kiss. This time, Ali relaxes into the embrace. "Oh, now you want it, huh?" Ashlyn asks slyly, and Ali laughs.

"Now that there's no way for us to come to great bodily injury? Yeah," Ali grins. She turns and gives Ashlyn a long deep kiss. "C'mon, let's go to bed."

Despite all of Ashlyn's advances earlier, when Ali comes out of the bathroom less than ten minutes later, Ashlyn is snoring softly in bed, pantsless but still wearing her shirt from earlier. Ali grins at the sight; she really does have the cutest girlfriend. And she really does love her.

She slips into bed herself, snuggling close to Ashlyn as the blonde unconsciously sweeps an arm up and around her. She's almost asleep, in that dreamy daze, when she feels the slight press of Ashlyn's lips against her neck. 

"I love you, too," Ali swears she hears, but can't be certain. Either way, her heart skips a beat and she falls into sleep with a smile etched on her face.

 

Any confusion is cleared up the next morning, when Ashlyn says it again as they wake. And then once more when Ali brings her a big glass of water and some ibuprofen in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for reading, and for your comments. I've been thinking of doing another set -- AA, BB...but still might need a little convincing ;)


	21. Up All Night

Despite the "friendly shark" nightlight glowing softly in the corner (one of her additions to the decor, of course), the room is dark, it's the middle of the night. Ashlyn doesn't dare turn on the light, but this decision causes her to smash her shinbone into the corner of some piece of furniture. She bites back a yelp, winces both at the pain and at almost giving herself away, and tiptoes like a ninja the rest of the way to her destination. Her eyes have now adjusted to the light, and the moon is streaming through the curtains, so she has her vision back a little. She peers down into the crib, her heart tightening a little as she sees the little bundle in the middle of the mattress, wrapped expertly into a sweet little baby burrito by her wife.

She's only ten days old. She's just a tiny little thing (only six and a half pounds at birth, but judging by the almighty wail she unleashed immediately upon entering the world, her lungs are healthy and strong), and she looks even tinier all wrapped up down there in a soft pink and purple blanket given to her by her Auntie Syd. (Syd's other gift, a seven foot tall stuffed giraffe, stands slightly terrifyingly in the corner of the room. They're not quite sure what else to do with it, but Sydney had been exceptionally excited to give it to them.)

She doesn't even look real. She just looks like a doll, perfect rosy lips and soft downy cheeks and teeny tiny fingers. And just the tiniest puff of dark hair, swirling softly on her head. Ashlyn admires her for a second, and then reaches down to gently rest a hand on her daughter's belly. She feels her little chest rise and fall steadily, and calmness washes over her. This is the second time she's snuck in here in the past two hours. She just needs to make sure she's okay. She's really little, and she's so perfect she can't believe it, and she just needs to check. Ali would laugh at her, probably, but luckily she hasn't seemed to have noticed yet that she's been sneaking out of their room multiple times every night for the past ten nights. 

And that's in addition to all the times June actually stirs, actually cries in the middle of the night and Ashlyn hustles off to grab her before Ali can fully wake. Ali's chastised her actually, reminding Ashlyn that she needs to take care of herself, too - that she doesn't always have to get up with the baby because sometimes she just wants the boob and Ashlyn doesn't need to be there for that (Ashlyn vehemently argues that if Ali's boob is out, she always needs to be there for that.) Ashlyn's pretty sure she's been sleeping with her eyes open since the baby was born, but she can't think of anything she'd rather be doing. 

It's so nerve-wracking, having a baby! All Ashlyn knows is that this new little human, this teensy person with Ali's eyes and, as luck would have it, Ashlyn's own penchant for water (though of course she wasn't able to tell her parents, it seemed like bath time was June's favorite activity, as she would lay still, eyes wide open, never fussing until the water turned too cold), was her responsibility, and there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her.

"Hey," Ali's voice is soft in the dark, and Ashlyn tenses. She's been caught. "What are you doing?" She casts one more look down at June, to really make sure she's fine, and then creeps back out of the room to meet her wife in the hallway.

"I thought I heard her crying, so I came to check," she says, and Ali raises her eyebrows at her wife. Maybe it's the exhaustion, but she folds immediately. "Okay, I'm a paranoid freak and I came to make sure she was still breathing." Ali's eyes soften.

"Is that where you've been sneaking off to every night? I was starting to get really concerned you had a bladder infection," she says, moving in and wrapping her arms around her waist. "Babe, you know she's fine, right?"

"I know," she says, a bit defensively. "But what if something happens? Alex, I am terrified here. I have no idea what I'm doing and what if I screw up? It's not just me and you anymore, you know?" it comes spilling out of her before she can help it, and she feels stupid and inept.

"Oh, Ash," she says with a sweet sigh. "I know it's different now, but you're not going to screw up, and you're not going to do anything wrong, I promise."

"How do you know?" She mumbles into her hair.

"Because you're up seven times a night making sure June is still breathing when we have a monitor that will start blaring if she's not," she tells Ashlyn. "Because if you were going to screw up, you wouldn't be worrying about screwing up. You're Ashlyn Harris, you can do anything. You're the only one I wanted to have a baby with, because I knew - I know - just how awesome you're gonna be." She sounds so sincere and so full of conviction, that Ashlyn feels herself start to relax. She kisses her forehead in thanks, and squeezes her a little tighter. She'll know what she's trying to say.

"The monitors go off if she stops breathing?" She asks, and Ali gives a small laugh against her.

"Yeah, that's why I bought them," she says, stepping back and giving her chest a soft whack. "Don't think I'm not as paranoid as you, babe. I just hide it a little better. Now, can we please go back to bed? It's still dark out." Ashlyn smiles at her, and they pad back down the hall. Ali pretends not to notice when Ashlyn casts a glance back at the nursery door, just grabs her hand, and together they stumble back to their bed. And for the first time since their daughter was born, Ashlyn feels like she can sleep. 

Until, of course, a sharp wail comes out of the monitor beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the end! But you guys are doing a solid job of convincing me to continue on after Z!


	22. Victory

"You look ridiculous."

"I look amazing," Ashlyn retorts, gesturing to herself. "HAO, Tobs, don't I look amazing?"

"Uh, duh," Tobin responds, while Heather nods emphatically. "Don't hate, Kriegs."

"Oh, I'll be hating all day long," Ali says. "You guys are going down!"

"Yeah, down to Victory town," Ashlyn says, fist pumping.

"That's not a thing, dummy," Ali rolls her eyes. "Just wait til the game. Penn State is gonna dominate and your precious little Carolina's gonna lose," she says confidently, pointing to her PSU shirt. 

"Oh puh-lease," Ashlyn, Tobin, and HAO all scoff. "UNC is gonna demolish you guys." 

"It'd be a lot easier to take you seriously if your face wasn't painted baby blue," Ali says. "Right, guys?"

Kelley pops up from the couch. "Oh, I am definitely not getting involved in this. I'm only here because you said there'd be food and beer."

"I mean, you do look like an idiot," Hope says easily from her spot next to Kelley. "But UNC has looked stronger this season."

Ali and Ashlyn both glare at her. 

"Okay, first of all, this is Carolina blue, not baby blue. Second of all, Hope YOLO is right, we have looked stronger, because we are stronger. No contest."

"Oh, is that so?" Ali challenges, taking a step toward Ashlyn. "If you're so confident, what do you say we make things interesting?"

"What do you mean?" Ashlyn asks as their friends look on with interest.

"Let's bet on it. If Penn State wins, you have to be in charge of dinners and clean-up for a whole week. Annnnd, you have to spend one whole day shopping with me as my personal bag-carrier," she says with a smirk, raising an eyebrow tauntingly.

"Well what do I get?" Ashlyn asks suspiciously.

"If," Ali says very exaggeratedly, "by some godforsaken reason your team wins, you can choose."

"Sex stuff!" Ashlyn blurts out excitedly, forgetting they have an audience, who all promptly burst into laughter.

"Gross," Kelley exclaims. "We all know you guys are freaky, but do we really need to hear about it?"

"Oh, like you're one to talk," Ashlyn shoots back as Ali blushes pink. "You told me all about when you and Hope -" the other goalkeeper sits up straight and shoots daggers at Ashlyn before turning them on Kelley.

"What did you tell her all about?" Hope demands, while Kelley blushes to match Ali.

"Nothing! Just, nevermind. Don't listen to her, she's clearly deranged, she painted herself baby blue!" 

"Carolina blue!" Tobin, Ashlyn, and HAO all loudly correct. 

"Oh good god. Do we have a deal?" Ali asks, sticking her hand out for a handshake.

Ashlyn takes it and gives her a professional shake. "Deal. You're so gonna lose," she can't help but add as Ali pulls away. 

"We'll see about that, Harris," Ali says, ponytail swinging as she turns to the kitchen.

"Hope, Kel, you guys want a beer? Ash, did you buy beer for your guests? Because the beer I bought is only for Penn State supporters." She says sassily, and Ashlyn frowns.

"First of all, Hope and Kelley aren't supporting Penn State (Kelley opens her mouth to agree, they came under the pretense of neutrality, but Hope gives her a look that clearly reads, 'don't fuck up our free beer situation' so she promptly shuts up.) and second of all, that is low, Krieger," Ashlyn glares at her girlfriend.

"Hey, all's fair in love and war, babe. And usually I'm all about the love, but we are definitely at war today."

The war stays mostly serious conflict free throughout the first half, only insults being slung across the room. Ali has commandeered the couch, and has essentially forced Kelley and Hope into at least half-heartedly rooting for her alma mater, while Ashlyn, HAO and Tobin are in the recliners (or, in Ashlyn's case, pacing behind the recliners) on the other side of the room, high-fiving with reckless abandon anytime something on the TV goes their way.

In the second half, however, things start to get a little rough. One of UNC's forwards is blatantly fouled (or obviously diving, depending on which homeowner you ask), and in her outrage Ashlyn manages to knock the side table enough so that the two glasses on it fall and shatter.

Not five minutes later, Penn State hits the crossbar and Ali jumps up, spilling her beer all over herself, Kelley, and the carpet in the process.

The trash talking also begins to intensify, and the guests exchange furtive glances at the vigor of their hosts. Ali and Ashlyn are both known to be super competitive, but it seems as though they've reached a new level.

"Good god, even Alex would be appalled," Kelley murmurs to Hope during a particularly sassy exchange of "pleasantries".

It's the 85th minute and no side has broken the stalemate. Ashlyn's face paint has begun to chip, and Ali's constant stream of encouragement to the Penn state players has died down to intermittent. 

And then on a breakaway, UNC scores, and half of the room erupts in cheers.

"Noooooo," Ali cries, covering her eyes. "What the fuck was that?"

"That was a goal, baby!" Ashlyn gloats, dancing around the living room.

The goal remains the only one in the game, and when the whistle blows, Ali's head lands in her hands. Ashlyn continues to celebrate with Tobin and Heather while Kelley and Hope spend a few minutes consoling Ali before they head out.

Finally, the UNC girls curtail their celebration and Ashlyn makes a comment about claiming her well earned prize from Ali, so Tobin and HAO grimace and exit as quickly as possible.

"I believe you owe me something," Ashlyn murmurs, coming up behind Ali who is rinsing dishes, a permanent scowl on her face.

"I suppose," Ali grumbles. "But these dishes have to get done first, they're so hard to clean once the food dries."

"No no no, a deal is a deal," Ashlyn rebuts, but Ali stands firm, wiggling out of the unsubtle hands on her breasts.

"You'll get your sex, but I'm serious, these dishes have to be done first," Ali says sternly, and Ashlyn frowns. She watches Ali for a second and notices that Ali is carefully washing each dish as though it's made of good, taking excessive time and care.

"You're such a fucking tease," Ashlyn grumbles.

"No idea what you're talking about," Ali says demurely without turning around. Finally, after watching Ali wash two plates in five minutes, Ashlyn yanks Ali's arm.

"You, upstairs, now. My team just own and I'm horny as hell."

"But the dishes-" Ali protests, trying to reach the faucet which Ashlyn has turned off.

"I'll do them, okay?" Ashlyn says exasperatedly. "Just, go, go get naked. I'll be up in five seconds." She hastily begins scrubbing and Ali smirks as she heads upstairs.

 

Two hours later, they're sated and sweaty, Ali laying flushed on Ashlyn's bare chest.

"Sorry you lost, babe," Ashlyn says, planting a kiss on Ali's forehead, and Ali just laughs.

"Ash, I just got three orgasms and got out of doing all the dishes. That's not losing, that's the definition of victory," she says, raising an eyebrow as Ashlyn's mouth drops open.

"You are a monster!" Ashlyn exclaims. "I'm dating a master manipulator."

"Aw, babe," Ali says teasingly. "You made it too easy. Maybe all that baby blue paint seeped into your brain and made you too gullible."

"IT'S CAROLINA BLUE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading!


	23. Wedding

"Hey, hop down bean, I need to finish Kelley's hair now, okay?" Kyle says as he rearranges the towel over Kelley's shoulders, 

"Okay," June responds, frowning a little. Her uncle is interrupting the very serious staring contest she's having, seated securely on Kelley's lap in a very exciting tall spin-y chair that her mama promised she could take a ride in later. Kelley gives June a bright smile.

"Raincheck, Juners, promise," she says, holding out her pinky which June takes readily. She leans in to give her auntie one last squeeze, which Kelley happily returns, and then she hops down, feet only hitting the ground for a second before she's scooped up by her mother.

"You ready to get your fancy princess dress on, baby?" Ali asks her daughter, and June nods emphatically.

"Yes! I am so ready, mama!" Her eyes are wide with excitement -- her dress has been hanging on a doorframe all morning, and it's pretty much the most beautiful thing June has ever seen in her three and a half years of life. She'd wanted to put it on as soon as she woke up, but Ashlyn had convinced her that it needed to stay extra special clean, and that no one was getting dressed until later anyway. June had grumbled considerably until Ashlyn successfully distracted her with chocolate chip pancakes and apple juice that room service had brought up.

"Okay, well let's go get changed, and then we can come show auntie Kel and uncle kyle, yeah?" Ali shifts June on her hip, mindful of her small bump (a boy, they'd found out last week), and grabs the dress as they head into the bathroom.

They emerge ten minutes later (getting tights on a three year old is not exactly an easy feat), Ali cracking up at how her daughter is practically vibrating with excitement. Junie marches proudly into the living area of the hotel suite, giant Krieger grin overtaking her face.

"Oh my gosh!" Alex is the first one to see her, and June flounces over to where Alex, Tobin, and Christen are gathered. "Look at you!"

"I'm so fancy!" Junie squeals, twirling for the full effect. Her dress is off white with gorgeous embroidery and a perfect bottom for spinning, and Ali is fairly certain June will be sleeping in it tonight, if not wearing it for the rest of her life.

"You sure are!" Christen gushes, "oh my god, I need a picture of this cuteness!"

June basks in the attention of her aunts, posing for pictures like the pro she is (thanks to her mothers and uncle), continuing to twirl on command until Ali comes over with a floral headband Kyle and the florist have fashioned.

"Mama," Junie breathes out. "Is that for me?!" Ali giggles as she places it on her daughter's head.

"Sure is, Princess," she affirms, planting a kiss on the top of June's head as well.

"Oh my goodness, Junie bean," Kelley exclaims as she comes into view. "You look so gorgeous, my little munchkin!"

"I know!" Junie practically yells (and Ali glares when Christen coughs something that sounds suspiciously like "your child" in her general direction.) June then takes in Kelley's appearance and her eyes grow wide.

"Auntie Kel," she says in wonder. "You look so beautiful," she gushes reverently, and Kelley bends down as best she can in her dress as June bounds over ("careful!" Ali, Alex, and Kyle all call in unison.)

"Almost as beautiful as you, bean," Kelley winks at her unofficial niece before pointing to her lips. June takes the cue and plants a big smooch on the woman's lips, just as Ashlyn walks in.

"Well don't you all look gorgeous," she says, sidling up to Ali and giving her a quick peck and tummy rub. "Kelley, you are stunning," she says, giving her friend a big smile. "And, is that? That can't be my Junie, can it? That pretty Princess over there?" She frowns slightly until June runs over.

"It's me, mommy!" June laughs. "Like my dress?"

"I love it," Ashlyn says sincerely. "Like my suit?"

"Yep! You look very handsome," June says with a grin.

"How is she?" Kelley calls from her spot in front of the mirror as Alex finishes the last few buttons up her back.

"She's okay," Ashlyn answers. "Being kind of snappy and terrifying, like she does when she's anxious. I threw her my keys and told her I'd cover if she made a run for it, but she didn't take me up on the offer so I think you're golden," Ashlyn teases and Kelley and Ali both roll their eyes. 

"Hey Junie, come here, I have a job for you," Kelley says, and June dutifully skips over. Kelley bends down and whispers in June's ear while June nods seriously. After a minute, Kelley pulls away. "Got it?" She asks seriously, and June gives her an emphatic nod.

"Got it," she affirms. "C'mon, mommy. Let's go find Auntie Hope."

 

"This one, mommy?" June asks, pointing to the door in front of her, and Ashlyn nods. June knocks authoritatively, and Ashlyn bites back a smile at her little lady on a mission, so much like her mama.

The door swings open and Carli looks down. "Well hey, June," she says. "You look pretty. What's up?"

"I need to talk to Auntie Hope," June says. "It's really 'portant." She carefully sidesteps Carli, who grins at Ashlyn.

"She is too much," Carli grins, and Ashlyn shakes her head.

"Don't I know it," she agrees. "You just wait though, I'm sure that one will keep you on your toes, too," she says, gesturing to Carli's slightly larger than normal midsection.

The pair step back into the room just in time to see June take a giant leap up into an unsuspecting Hope's arms. Luckily Hope's quick reflexes kick in and she manages to pluck June out of midair.

"Hey kiddo," she says with an eyebrow raised. "Excited to see me?"

"Uh huh," June says, and Hope can't help but sport a wry smile.

"You look beautiful, Junie," Hope says, and this time June goes so far as to attempt to roll her eyes.

"I know!" She says exasperatedly. "But listen!"

"Okay, okay, I'm listening," Hope says, and June's frown eases.

"Auntie Kelley says she loves you and she's super pumped to get married to you," June recites verbatim. "So stop being nervous and let's just do this thing!" Hope can hear Kelley's voice in June's words and she fights to suppress a grin. "And she said that she bought some really fancy undies for tonight, too, but I don't think they're that fancy because she said they're not even Princess ones like mine," June finishes, and all three women are staring.

"Good god Kel," Hope mutters through a grin, while Ashlyn's jaw drops behind her.

"Um, can you tell your wife to stop using my daughter to send s-e-x messages please?" Ashlyn hisses, and Carli laughs.

"She's not my wife," Hope reminds her. "Yet. I should get on that. Alright, let's do this thing," she echoes Kelley's sentiment and looks at June. "Anything else, Junie?"

June just lunges forward and wraps her arms tightly around Hope's neck. She pulls back and places a sloppy kiss on Hope's cheek. 

"That from Kelley too?" Hope asks, amused, and June shakes her head.

"Nuh uh. That was from me! I love you, Auntie Hope," June says with a patented nose-crinkle smile.

"Okay, can we like send this child into the Middle East or something? Because I'm pretty sure she could she could like, create world peace in an afternoon," Carli muses as she notes the monumental shift in Hope's demeanor. 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she'd end up the benevolent dictator of a small nation," Ashlyn corrects. 

"Come on guys, let's go," June says as she wiggles out of Hope's arms. "I'm really really 'cited to throw all the flowers! I practiced this morning with mama. And everyone is gonna love my dress, and maybe they'll even clap for me!"

Carli and Hope look to Ashlyn in amusement, who just raises her hands.

"I rest my case."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! Only three chapters left...until I start all over! If you have any ideas/requests for the double letter series coming next (AA, BB) I would love to hear them!


	24. X-Ray

"Hi, I'm looking for Alexandra Krieger? She was brought in early this afternoon?" Ashlyn stands impatiently at the desk in urgent care. 

"Ah yes, the soccer player. Is she expecting you?" The receptionist looks up, and Ashlyn nods.

"I'm her fiancé." The woman smiles, and holds up a finger.

"Let me find a nurse to take you back to her." Ashlyn smiles gratefully and a minute later is being led down the hall by a cheerful nurse.

"Now she's doing really well, she's still on the good pain meds from the surgery earlier, so she's pretty loopy and sleepy, but she's been asking for you," the nurse says with a smile. "The doctor will want to talk with you about the procedure and aftercare, but after that you should be all set to take her home!"

"Thank you," Ashlyn says with a grin. "Is she awake now?"

"Last I checked, she was sleeping, but she did make it clear that she wanted you to wake her up when you 'finally got your damn ass here'," the nurse chuckled.

"She told you that?" Ashlyn laughs. 

"Oh me, her dad, the doctor, the surgeon, and every other person she came across," the nurse winks. "She seems to be pretty sweet on you."

"Well, the feeling is mutual," Ashlyn replies as they stop in front of room 214. "Thanks again, for everything." She gives the nurse a last smile before pushing the door open.

Ali's sleeping, arm propped and bandaged carefully at her side, but the sound of the door closing causes her to stir, and she opens her eyes blearily. 

"Hi baby," Ashlyn greets quietly. "How's my girl?" 

"Ash?" Ali slurs slightly, squinting.

"Yep," Ashlyn says, planting a kiss on Ali's forehead.

"Why'd it take you so long?" Ali pouts, actually sticks out her bottom lip and pouts, and Ashlyn laughs.

"Well, babe, it's a two hour flight, and I was in the middle of my own game, you know," she says, and Ali's brow stays furrowed.

"Did we win?"

"You did, Crystal scored twice, and I did, too, so yes babe, we won."

"Yay!" Ali cheers, still clearly doped up but certainly less sleepy. "Sucks to suck, Hope!" Ashlyn laughs and makes a mental note to send that message along to their friend. 

"Crystal called and said to tell you they're all thinking of you, and that her goals were for you," Ashlyn shares, and Ali breaks into a big smile for a moment before she turns to Ashlyn.

"Did you score for me, too?" She asks sweetly, and Ashlyn is really enjoying this drugged up version of her fiancé. 

"I did not, sweetheart. Sorry," she says, hoping to placate Ali with another kiss on the forehead.

"Why not?" Ali asks, and before Ashlyn can answer, tears are streaming down Ali's face. "Why wouldn't you score for me?"

Ashlyn contemplates getting her phone out to film, but leans down to cradle Ali the best she can without moving her arm. 

"I'm sorry, Alex, it's just pretty hard for goalkeepers to score. You know, since our entire job is to actively stop goals from being scored," she murmurs soothingly. "I still love you, though." She continues to run her fingers through Ali's hair until the pathetic whimpering stops. She pulls back, and Ali looks up at her with surprise.

"Ash! When did you get here? I'm so happy to see you! I miss you so much, just all the time, everyday, but you're here now and I am so happy about that!" She says brightly, and Ashlyn can't help but laugh.

"I'm happy to see you too, Al," she responds, with a full dimpled grin. "Just wish it wasn't at the expense of your wrist," she glances down to the cast, and Ali nods mournfully.

"It's broken," she says solemnly. "I broke it two times, even. See the pictures?" She points in the general direction of some x-rays left on the board, which Ashlyn goes to investigate.

"Oh my god, Al," Ashlyn exclaims as she takes in the images. "This is a really bad break!"

"Yep!" Ali agrees cheerfully. "It sure is!"

"And your dad said you tried to keep playing. Good god, Alexandra, are you even human?" She turns and looks at her fiancé. "All jokes aside, you literally are a warrior princess," she says in complete admiration. "If not too stubborn and competitive for your own good."

The door opens slightly, and the same nurse from before pokes her head in.  
"Sorry to interrupt," she begins, "just wanted to let you know the doctor should be by in about half hour, okay?"

"Sounds good," Ashlyn responds, settling into the chair next to Ali's bed.

"Kate!" Ali calls, and the nurse smiles.

"Yes, Ali?"

"Ashlyn's here!" She gestures excitedly to the woman beside her. 

"I see that," Kate chuckles, "I told you she would be."

"Isn't she like, the fucking sexiest thing you've ever seen?" Ali asks, dead serious, and Ashlyn turns bright red.

"Alex!" She hisses, while Kate laughs.

"She's lovely. You make a beautiful couple," Kate says with a wink to Ashlyn.

"I know!" Ali agrees emphatically. "We're getting married in a few months!"

"Yes," Kate says with a wry smile. "You showed me your pinterest boards. Twice." She gives Ashlyn one last knowing smile before ducking out of the room.

"You are a crazy person," Ashlyn says, grabbing Ali's good hand. "But I sure do love you."

"I love you too," Ali says with a soft smile. "But hey, Ash?"

"Hm?"

Ali points to the (plain yellow) wall with a quizzical look on her face. "Why are those purple puppets so sad? I mean, they found their rainboots last week." Ashlyn just shakes her head while biting her lip to keep from laughing.

"Beats me, babe. Beats me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	25. Yours

"Sooooo," Pinoe says with a smirk as slides into the chair next to Ashlyn's, "what exactly is going on with you and Ali?"'

Ashlyn stays quiet, continuing to chew, but a slight blush creeps up her face, and Pinoe laughs with glee until Ashlyn shoots her a dirty look.

"Oh c'mon, don't be shy. We all know you guys hooked up a few nights ago, pretty sure the whole hotel heard that," Megan grins, and Ashlyn whips her head up, eyes wide. They then narrow as she takes in Pinoe's expression.

"You didn't hear anything," Ashlyn accuses, and Megan relents.

"No, no one heard you have sex. But I had you scared there for a second, didn't I?" She asks gleefully, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes. "And, just because we didn't hear you didn't mean it didn't happen. Plus you both happened to be mysteriously absent on the shopping expedition yesterday, which is very unlike the both of you. Maybe it had something to do with that street fair I heard you ask the concierge about?" 

Ashlyn sighs in defeat. "You're not going to leave me alone until I talk, are you?"

"Nope!"

"Well, yes, we did 'hook up' that night, and yes, that is the only detail about that you will be getting. And yes, we did go to the street fair yesterday and it was amazing and she's amazing and she's unlike anyone else, and I really like her, and we've talked about our feelings and it seems like we're kinda on the same page, but obviously, you know, there's the complication of us being on the team together, so we'll have to keep talking about that. But we haven't really discussed a...label, so, that's kind of where I'm at right now," Ashlyn rambles, actually glad that she has someone else to talk to. Whitney has been blindly excited (far too many "you'll figure it out!"s rather than solid advice), and Tobin only smiled and demurely said "just trust in the big guy, dude."

"Wow," says Megan as she takes in all the information Ashlyn has shared. "Well, that's good, right? That you're on the same page, feelings wise?"

Ashlyn grins widely at that. "Yeah, it's a huge fucking relief," she laughs. "And I want...I mean, I think I'm ready..."

"You want to the define the relationship," Megan provides, and Ashlyn nods.

"Yeah. I want, god it sounds so juvenile, but I want her to be my girlfriend," Ashlyn admits, blushing again. 

"Well, I think you probably have to ask her first," Pinoe teases, and Ashlyn rolls her eyes again.

"Yes, thanks, hadn't thought of that," Ashlyn retorts.

"Hadn't thought of what?" The voice from above startles Ashlyn, and she nearly jumps out of her chair.

"Nothing," Ashlyn stutters, and Ali and Heather both give her skeptical looks as they take their seats opposite the blondes.

"Okay, weirdo," Ali says, giving Ashlyn a smile, instantly relaxing Ashlyn.

"Takes one to know one," she counters, and Ali just shakes her head with a grin.

"Wanna go for a walk later?" Ali asks quietly, kicking Ashlyn gently under the table.

"Yeah, definitely," Ashlyn says eagerly. "And actually I wanted to talk to you about something," Ashlyn says, emboldened by Ali's sweet smile. 

Ali raises an eyebrow but before she can respond, their attention is called by Dawn, and the rest of the day flies by quickly, training and team meetings, and an extra keeper session that keeps Ashlyn busy until nearly dinner time.

Dinner is another busy affair, and Ali is already sitting in between Christie and Becky by the time Ashlyn rolls through the line, which is slightly annoying, but the shy wave and wink Ali sends her way help.

Finally, she manages to pull Ali away from Becky as they walk out of the dining room.

"Hey, you wanna go for that walk now?" She asks, and Ali nods enthusiastically. But the universe has other plans, because just as Ashlyn is reaching for Ali's hand, Pinoe's voice booms out.

"Hey everyone, listen up! I just sweet talked Pia and Dawn into letting us out to celebrate Abby's birthday tonight! We have a one drink rule," she says dramatically "but that doesn't mean we can't have fun! Meet in the lobby in half hour!"

Ali turns to Ashlyn. "Raincheck?" She asks apologetically.

"Of course," Ashlyn smiles, internally cursing. And Ali swiftly moves to place a chaste kiss on Ashlyn's cheek before heading off to her room to get ready.

 

They eventually arrive at a low key bar, nice on the inside but tucked away enough to offer some privacy. Ashlyn looks for Ali immediately (they'd been in separate cabs despite their best efforts, forces were definitely conspiring against them today), only to see her be whisked off to the bar with Heather. 

Abby slings an arm around Ashlyn's shoulder and tugs her over to a table where she regales a group with stories from UNC (Chalupny fact-checking her occasionally as Ashlyn is known to exaggerate). She hardly realizes that almost an hour has gone by when she gets up to use the restroom.

On her way back, she again searches for Ali, and is ultimately successful when she hears that distinctive laugh she can't get enough of. Ali's still at the bar, chatting with HAO and Pinoe and another woman Ashlyn doesn't know -- a pretty blonde. A pang of jealousy flares in Ashlyn's stomach as she watches Ali laugh at something the woman says, and she makes her way over quickly, trying not to get too worked up.

"Hey guys," she forces out, trying to sound casual, and all eyes turn towards her.

"Hey, there you are," Ali says, resting a hand on Ashlyn's arm. "Ash, this is Maria, she owns this place. Maria, this is my girlfriend Ashlyn," Ali says easily, turning back to the woman and therefore missing the dumbfounded expression on Ashlyn's face. HAO and Pinoe don't miss it though, and both begin cracking up. Ashlyn recovers enough to send a glare their way before Ali is slipping down from her barstool.

"Walk with me?" She asks, grabbing for Ashlyn's hand.

"Of course," Ashlyn responds automatically, and lets Ali lead her out of the bar.

As seems to be the usual for them, they walk in silence for a block or two before Ali breaks it.

"What I said back there," she starts, and Ashlyn stops walking. "I know we haven't talked about it, not really, but um, given what we have talked about, I just kind of felt like it was a no brainer? Like, I want you to be my girlfriend. And I think you want that, too? Unless I'm just dead wrong and you don't, in which case, just, well, that'd be super embarrassing," Ali blurts out, biting her lip nervously.

"I do," Ashlyn clarifies quickly. "I do want to be your girlfriend. I kinda wanted to ask you myself, but you just keep beating me to the punch," Ashlyn teases, pulling Ali in for a kiss.

"Well maybe you should stop being so slow," Ali says with a sly grin as they pull apart.

"Hey, I tried to ask you all day long! People kept ruining my chances! Dawn, Paul, Pinoe," Ashlyn defends herself, and Ali laughs.

"Well, we're alone here now, right?" Ali says, nudging Ashlyn's shoulder with her own. Ashlyn gives Ali's hand a squeeze and pulls her in closer.

"Will you be my girlfriend, Alex?" She asks softly, and Ali leans up to give her a good, solid kiss.

They pull apart after a minute, and Ali buries her head in Ashlyn's neck. "Of course I will, Ashlyn. I'm yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the end of this round!
> 
> If you have ideas or things you want to see in the next round, comment and let me know!


	26. Zeus

"Kel-ley," Kelley enunciates slowly. "Kel-ley," she draws out the sounds hopefully, but is met only with big, light cinnamon eyes, no echo at all.

"C'mon, Kel, give it up," Hope says as she comes up behind her, Zeus the dog trailing dutifully at her heels. "You've been at it since Ali and Ash ran to the store half hour ago. I think you need to admit defeat."

Kelley turns around and shoots a glare at Hope. "I will not give it up," she scowls. "We're not leaving until this little munchkin says 'Kelley'. Right, Junie?" she turns back to the baby in her lap, and tickles her tummy, which produces a giggle. "Good god, she is so cute. Like, abnormally cute, right?"

"She is very cute," Hope agrees as she settles down next to Kelley and June. Zeus follow her lead and lays down as well, fiercely protective of June. "You wanna know the real reason why she won't say 'Kelley', though?"

"Why's that?" Kelley asks, narrowing her eyes at Hope while blowing a raspberry on June's sweet chubby cheek.

"Because I'm her favorite auntie, not you," she says, swooping June up off of Kelley's lap before she can protest, and throwing June into the air with practiced ease.

June shrieks with glee, and Kelley rolls her eyes. "Yeah, nice try Solo. We all know that I'm her favorite. And I refuse to leave this state, nay, this house before that little peanut says my name!"

"Well, our plane home leaves tomorrow, Kel, and I'm gonna be on it," Hope laughs. "So good luck with this endeavor," she teases, kissing June's cheek.

"It's not fair," Kelley pouts. "When Tobs and Press were here a few weeks ago they got to see June's first wave, and now they won't stop rubbing it in my face!"

"Maybe if you didn't make such a fuss about it, they'd stop," Hope says with an affectionate eye roll before turning her attention back to the baby in her arms. "What do you say, Juners? It'd make all our lives easier if you just said 'Kelley'. Or I mean, you could go with 'Hope', if you'd prefer," she adds as she sidesteps Kelley's inevitable swat.

"Ba," June gurgles, and Kelley shoots up hopefully. 

"Kel-ley?" She says slowly, but June just grins and giggles, making a few unintelligible baby noises, but nothing that could be stretched into either aunt's name.

When Ali and Ashlyn return home ten minutes later, Kelley is laying on her stomach the floor, head propped up and staring intently at June, who is sitting contentedly in Hope's lap, listening to Hope read board books.

"Uh, why are you staring so creepily at my child, Kel?" Ashlyn asks, setting her bags down on the counter.

"She's trying to get June to say her name," Hope smirks. "It's not going well."

"Oh, hell no," Ali says as she begins to unpack the groceries. "That girl is absolutely not gonna say your name before she says mama," she threatens, and Ashlyn laughs.

"Yeah, Al's been working on that since the day June was born, basically."

"Oh, don't act like you're not coaching her to say mommy," Ali retorts. 

"Stop listening to me though the monitor!"

"Stop trying to get June to say mommy first! You already got her first smile!"

"Not my fault I'm funnier than you," Ashlyn sasses, sticking her tongue out at her wife before joining her friends and daughter on the floor. "Isn't that right, J-bug?"

June smiles her two-toothed smile and babbles a bit.

"Okay, I really feel like she has all the right sounds for Kelley," Kelley says. "Come on, Junie, you can do it!"

"Oh no you don't, Kel," Ali says as she joins the floor party. "Baby, can you say mama? Ma-ma," Ali says slowly. June purses her lips slightly but all that escapes is a raspberry, not a word. She is delighted by the undivided attention of all four adults, however, and claps for herself, which causes all four women to coo and grab for their phones.

"Okay," Kelley sighs dramatically, drawing June up into her chest. "I still love you, sweet girl, even if you're breaking my heart right now."

"Oh good god, babe," Hope laughs. "Look, even if she does say your name, you're not gonna live to brag about it because mama bear over here is gonna end you," she says gesturing to Ali.

"She's not wrong," Ali mutters. "You carry a kid for nine months, with the stretch marks and the vomit and the shoving out of your vagina. You sacrifice your boobs, your sleep, your sanity, and still! Nothing! She said 'dada' the other day, I swear. Like she's just fucking with me!"

"Yeah well maybe it's a good thing she isn't talking considering your vow to cut down on your cursing as she got older has fallen by the wayside," Ashlyn teases her wife. "If you're not careful, her first word won't be mama, it'll be fuck."

"I would pay to see that," Kelley laughs, and Hope nods in agreement.

Ali glares at them for a moment before leaning down and kissing her daughter's forehead. "I'm sorry, baby. Mama won't say bad words anymore. C'mon," she says, reaching for June. "Let's go get you some dinner."

At the word 'dinner', Zeus, who had been snoring happily on his doggy bed in the corner, hops up quickly and beelines to the kitchen, almost tripping Ali in the process.

"Zeus!" Ali shrieks, managing to right herself as Zeus makes it to his food bowl, tail wagging furiously. 

"Zu!" A tiny voice echoes, and Ali takes another step before she turns around slowly, eyes wide.

"Did she just-" Ashlyn asks, and Ali nods slowly.

"I think so," she says quietly. "Zeus?" She asks, looking at June.

"Zu!" June cheers, turning her head to try to spot her best buddy. "Zu!"

"Oh my god," Ashlyn breathes. "Her first word! Babe, she's saying Zeus!" she exclaims excitedly, and Ali nods, a wide grin on her face. 

"I know!" She squeals. "That's right, baby! That's Zeus!" 

"Zu!" June repeats, delighted by the response she's created. 

"I am not pleased by this turn of events," Kelley grumbles from the floor. "But she's so damn cute it's hard to be mad at her."

"Don't worry, guys, I got it on it video," Hope says, holding up her phone.

"Ah! You're the best, Hope. Oh my god, my baby just said her first word. Fuck, she's getting so big! I can't believe it. Fuck!" She squeezes June's cheek, gives her a kiss. 

"Fuh," June says, grinning at her mom.

"Alexandra!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, we made it all the way through! I'll be starting back up again with AA soon, but get in all your ideas/requests now!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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